I am not sure if this is good or not to post in here. I just need to let some emotional steam off now.

My beloved friend, buddy, and my little cute kitty died yesterday.
She was 25.

She put on such a brave face for me. Besides her aching joints she would still walk around on her own power. I knew the time would come when she would leave but one is never ready to let go. The signs were there. She started having trouble eating her favorite crunchy cat food. We were lucky that a friend had some other cat food that was in smaller pieces that she enjoyed to eat. She still had all her teeth to eat with. We of course had some wet cat food that was her favorite to eat too. But the biggest shock to me was when she had trouble drinking her water. That's when I knew. My wife and I would spoon give her water and milk. We did all we could to make her comfortable as possible. When she got to the point that long walks in the room were too hard for her, we would support or carry her to where she wanted to go. Then mainly she could only lay after a few days from that. We spent as much time as we could with her. For my wife it was easier because she doesn't work. My little kitty girl held on until I got back from work.
She was a stray kitty when I first came across her. Nobody could approach or hold her. It took me about 1 or 2 hours in the rain to gain her trust. I would leave some cat food one piece at a time in a line towards me. She would come to get the food. When I set the last piece on my foot she actually was on my foot crunching away. It was then I tried to pick her up. She purred as she look at me. As to say. OK I choose you to take care of me. For 25 years she has been great happiness and sunshine in my life. I am greatful for the times with her. When I would be sick, she was always by my side to comfort me. Our time started with her in my hand. She died in my hand. She held on that day to honor me that one last time to look eye to eye and to be once again in my hand.

I can't let go. She is so much a great part of my life that I cannot let go.

That's a very beautiful testament to your cat. In all the eons of the universe, you shared the same time and space as your cat. By your words, it sounds like you enriched each others' lives. I'm sure she was very thankful.

I suppose as we get older, those closest to us die, but what they leave behind in us continues. They teach us to value every minute of our day, cherish our loved ones, and leave the best of us behind for those that go beyond us.

Our children are like our arrows. We fire them off to where we can't go, so we try hard to aim well. Our family, friends, and pets are like feathers of our own arrow. They help make our aim true.

I think in everyone's life, there's the potential for that one great pet. The animal that just is amazing. Perhaps even more than one. I'm glad you found yours.

I hope your heart heals well and that one day, you find another pet that is as dear.

What a beautiful relationship you had with your pet. I'm so sorry for you loss and hope that your fond memories of your time with her will warm your heart and ease your grief.