Jean Claude Van Damme gets lost in the forest. He's thirsty, hungry and tired and can barely continue walking. Suddenly he sees a cabin. It belongs to a Polish guy. He makes his way there and knocks on the door.
_Who's there?
_Jean Claude Van Damme.
_Well get off my property NOW! All four of you.

***

Two Polish hunters are driving to the forest to go bear hunting. They come upon a fork in the road where a sign says 'Bear Left'.
Disappointed, they go back home.

Poland is just like the UK, only with fewer Polish people.

Flying across the Atlantic. Pope John Paul II is aboard. We encounter only a little bit of turbulence, and yet the aircraft responds erratically. The situation grows worse. The Pope stands up, apologizes, and moves to a seat on the other side of the plane. Everything is fine.

In London only Poles drink alcohol anymore. The Quran forbids everyone else to do so.

Sorry, not the best wording - I only heard it in Polish and don't know how to write it properly in English.

A Pole, a jew and a communist walk into a bar . Then a German locks them in and gasses them. The end .




Came up with that^ all by myself :D

Read it twice, still don't understand ):

Polish people cannot into directions?

'Bear Left' as in it's not there anymore.

If it only were that easy to come up with something offensive about Romania. Too bad nobody knows shit about Romania because nobody gives a shit. Unless it's about Dracula. *badum tsh*

Seriously, though, I had to chuckle the moment you proudly admitted that it's your own mastepriece.

People from Poland are called pole? I thought it was pollack.

No, you're thinking of that artist dude who threw paint on giant pieces of canvas.

being half polish, I am highly offended by this thread.


hahaha, who am I kidding, I love a good knee slapper *hits elbow*

Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20
story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his
lunch box, he exclaims, "Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch
one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself."
The second worker is Hispanic. When he looks in his lunch box, he
exclaims, " Oh, no, if I have to eat tacos for lunch one more time, I
going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself." The third worker is
polish. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, "Oh, no, if I
have to eat polish sausage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump
off the 20th floor and kill myself."
The next day the Italian looks in his lunch box, sees a bowl of
spaghetti. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Then the
Hispanic worker looks in his lunch box, sees 2 tacos. He walks to the
edge and jumps to his death. Finally the polish worker looks in his
lunch box, sees a polish sausage sandwich. He walks to the edge and
jumps to his death.
At the funeral for the three workers the Italian workers wife is
sobbing out of control and cries," Oh, its all my fault. If only I had
packed him a different lunch!" The Hispanics wife is also sobbing out
of control and cries," Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed my
husband a different lunch!" The polish workers wife isn't crying at
all so the other two wives confront her.
"Don't look at me," she exclaims, "He packs his own lunch!"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reginald_Pollack#mediaviewer/File:Reginald_Pollack_Headshot.jpg

Ahh...No...

XD Wrong one. Who knew there were so many artist with that name. Of course only one threw paint on giant pieces of canvas. :D