Allegiance to extend an
unwarrantable jurisdiction over these usurpations, pursuing invariably the
same Object evinces a multitude of warfare, is at large bodies at large Armies of the
rest of the British Crown, and Things which denounces our seas, ravaged our Trade with his Assent to Laws, the Name, and organizing its powers in such principles and to
assume among us:
For Quartering large bodies of our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the population of foreign to render the world:
For depriving us to suffer, while evils are endowed by a multitude of Lands.
He has called together legislative bodies at large districts
of Happiness.--That to right themselves invested with
circumstances of the separation.

In every stage of these truths to be the lives of his Assent should declare the forms to pass Laws of New Offices, and unacknowledged by every act which
may define a candid world.

He has utterly neglected to prevent the works of armed troops among us, in the sole
purpose obstructing the ruler of our own Legislatures, and unacknowledged by our common kindred to the State of our sacred Honor.

For suspending our people, unless those people to
compleat the State of pretended Legislation:
For taking away our seas, ravaged our intentions, do, in direct object the Consent
of our most barbarous
ages, and Things which constrains them under absolute Tyranny over us. We have
warned them by every act which
they are Absolved from all parts of pretended offences
For Quartering large Armies without the free people.

I have two! I win!

I have more from where that one came from! I win! (And I can generate as many as I want!)

Here's another:
many cases, of the mean time of Right ought to effect their salaries.
He has erected a right do. And for Naturalization of this time of the Right ought to attend to encourage their Safety and Independent States of human events, it is
their migrations hither, and declare, That these
United Colonies are, and usurpations, all men are endowed by refusing his Assent to time of Foreigners; refusing his Assent to
alter their operation till his Assent to
alter or to legislate for one people would inevitably
interrupt our laws; giving his Protection and
waging War against their native justice and to their
Acts and of invasion from punishment for their native justice and to
bring on his measures.
For protecting them, by abolishing the Forms of our Coasts, burnt our Fortunes and we mutually pledge to become the People
to a firm reliance
on the most likely to legislate for the consent of new Government, and that they are more disposed to prevent the executioners of mankind are accustomed.
But when a design to secure
these States; for opposing with another, and magnanimity, and that
purpose obstructing the Legislature, a Tyrant, is a right inestimable to render it becomes destructive of all cases whatsoever.
He has called together legislative bodies of their
Acts of armed troops among us:
For taking away our people, unless suspended in Peace Friends.

He has made Judges dependent on the British Crown, and transient causes; and settlement here. We have reminded them to subject us out of Cruelty

I can play conkers with my bollox.

Are you just stringing random words and sentences together?

Sort of. Recently, I wrote a predictive text imitator, which works as follows:

1. It reads the input text, and counts how many times any given word follows any other given word. (For example, if "the" is followed by "world:" at one point and "State" at another, the program takes note of it.
2. It outputs text. After each word, it looks at the words that followed it in the source text, and chooses one of them at random*, based off the frequency of the pair of words in the source.
*: By "random", I mean using Python 3's random number generator.

So, what we get is random text based off the source input that, at first glance, looks like it should make sense. Of course, when you try to read it, it becomes apparent that it is actually random nonsense.

The source text here is the United States Declaration of Independence, which you can easily find online.

In other words, yes, the computer program I wrote did string random words together, but only those pairs that appeared together in the source text.

Interesting. Personally I am very fond of the Postmodernism Simulator, which is a relly funny webpage capable of creating random postmodern gibberish (although "postmodern gibberish" is kind of a pleonasm). Here's a sample:

"If one examines Baudrillardist simulation, one is faced with a choice:
either reject textual discourse or conclude that truth is fundamentally a legal
fiction. But Foucault uses the term ‘the capitalist paradigm of context’ to
denote the difference between class and sexual identity. In Death: The Time
of Your Life, Gaiman examines Baudrillardist simulation; in Sandman,
however, he reiterates postdialectic Marxism.

“Society is part of the dialectic of culture,” says Marx; however, according
to Hanfkopf[1] , it is not so much society that is part of
the dialectic of culture, but rather the economy, and subsequent
meaninglessness, of society. It could be said that the primary theme of
Scuglia’s[2] essay on textual discourse is the role of the
artist as poet. Debord suggests the use of Baudrillardist simulation to attack
archaic, elitist perceptions of class.

The main theme of the works of Gibson is a self-fulfilling totality.
However, Bataille uses the term ‘subcultural textual theory’ to denote the
futility, and eventually the stasis, of precapitalist sexual identity. Any
number of constructions concerning not dematerialism, but neodematerialism may
be revealed."

If you feel playful go to: http://www.elsewhere.org/journal/pomo/
and hit F5 repeatedly.

I guess that's cool, but why is this posted when there's no real point to it?

I thought that for April Fools you would have posted your realization that feminism is as bad as machismo.
Too bad :P