Welcome Kings and Queens to the High Table!

Everything discussed stays in this room among the royalty feline family.

As Ruler of the Kitty Kingdom!
Two things I would make more readily accessible to the public
Eggnog and turkey
Why make these two joys of delights only available 2 days in a year.... >.>

And I kid you not
Turkey has antioxidants that reduces chances to cancer.
But it's soooooo hard to find outside of thanksgiving holidays...

Turkey should release these antioxidants to the rest of the world.

My decree is that all leaders dress up silly, according to their rank. The higher the rank, the sillier the attire. Obviously they are off to a great start with that useless thing draped around the collar of their shirt, known as a 'necktie', but there is room for improvement.

Any father who does not make at least one dad joke a day, shall be put into dad jail, where they can see the thermostat but it's just out of reach

As the new king I decree in the name of national security all citizens will; based on information sensitivity and class, be assigned a security classification color and are no longer permitted to wear or associate themselves with any other colour or enter any area that is not of that color.
Any breach of the color code is punishable by death.

Also names will be reassigned to incorporate their current color code and become alpha-numeric.

if i was king i would decree each 13 day after full moon people where forced to wolf cry for 13 mins at 23:13.

also i would decree each female in winter months must wear a side half skirt the exposed leg must have a single large boot the other leg must have a stilleto shoe but they must have matched colors with the side skirt.
anyone that breek the law should be shaved by force half of her hair and paint the remaining hair red.

Thank you, thank you .. it is such a delight to be in such purrrrfect company

Purrrrsonally eh, if total frrrreedom was ensurrrred... My decree to the loyal subjects would be to make, no, to institute, a new holy day in honor of the claw! On that day no kitty shall walk the face of this earrrrrth ,everrrrry kitty would purrrrrforrrm 4 holy tasks engaging their claws in different manners followed by a 12 hour lasting cushion purrrrty, no sleeping allowed!

This is what we decrrrree

Thank you, thank you

Something like: All your base are belong to me.

As queen, I decree that males must do this: I also decree that, at least one room in every house should have walls painted purple. Purple wallpaper is also acceptable. And every house should have a dragon door knocker on the front door. Anyone opposed, will be forced to sit in a tiny, cold-white room, with dragon sounds playing continuously.

Every home shall have a portrait of my bored looking face, except at night when the lights are off, then the picture turns into my menacing face.

I'd ban all forms of burning. My town has a ban on all burning except campfires. Not much ticks me off more than when people burn leaves and let them smolder, then claim it was "just a campfire" if someone calls the cops. It's especially irritating because it's a double whammy: not only does it make the fresh, sweet summer air smell like absolute death but it also kills my allergies, leading to lots of sore throats and coughing... the only other alternative? To just close the windows and boil indoors.

One must always fart downwind.

That prospective parents must have a licence before having a child. Question 1 on the form would be, "What name will you give the child?"

If the answer is something like "Moonbase 3" or "Verruca", they don't get a licence.

Actually, Turkey can be bought year round in many forms in many places where I live :)
(I dunno about egg nog, though....though I assume there might be some IRL/online ways to get it)

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My Decree

People should have to use cat puns at least once on Saturdays, while addressing others....but not dog puns
(mouse/fish/bird puns are also purr-mitted and encouraged)

All open mouth chewers will receive 1 year hard labour.

If I were to be a king I would decree that any ads that doesn't pass the quality test or simply low quality and crappy ads are banned and declared as national threat, and anyone who made ads without permission will be punished according to the law agreed by all, do a marathon run encircling the planet.