"Funny thing about weekends when you're unemployed. They don't seem to mean quote so much, except that you get to hang out with your workin' friends." -Les Claypool

"There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] suggests, and try it. The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt. That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties."
Douglas Adams

"I know that I know nothing" - Socrates

"I drank what?" - Socrates

"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." - Confucius

This is a long one:

"We know things are bad — worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is: 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone." - Howard Beale

Courtesy of Nalkoden who said this on a thread once. Thank you.