Thankfully, most Paradox games these days accommodate peaceful playstyles and ''building tall'', though paygated by DLC. EU4 has merchant republics and Stellaris has a massive degree of customizability for your nation, including (with I think the Utopia DLC) going full North Korea mode with an ''Inward Perfection'' state that sacrifices a lot of diplomatic options for bonuses. And yeah, when I play such games I tend to play tall. There are plenty of wargames with more refined combat to choose from, no need to play grand strategy games that way too when you could do something different.

That's me in every city builder.

All I want is to build my city to be effective and bustling with activities.
What I don't want is: vulcans erupting, meteors impacting, giant lizards going on a rampage, etc.

So, yeah - I'll admit it: I am the guy who switches off all disasters in games like SimCity.
For me the wanton destruction of my beloved metropolis is simply no fun.

I used to the exact same thing until a few years ago. If it helps, try looking it as what your population wants rather than you forcing your edicts on them. Example, a village/colony at the edge of your empire gets attacked and lives are lost. Those people would demand some sort of retribution from the aggressors. You can have a one-off attack where you either return the "favor" in kind, or have a mini-campaign. I'm guessing you don't focu on military much, so a one-off attack could end in disaster, which makes your population even more irate and demands you take action.

That's what I generally do at least. It's like playing a junkie in Fallout, who's using alcohol/chems to forget the pains of the loss of her son and husband. Doesn't want to kill, but if she gets caught stealing... well she needs her juice.

For me, it all depends on the game;
Some games will give you less content if you decide to play as "Evil", other ones will use it as a difficulty level. Some games are made to play as "evil" by default (Dungeon Keeper, Overlord, ...)
There are even games that focus on "shades of grey", e.g. Disco Elysium, Vampire TM, even The Witcher series does it relatively well.

I see games as books or movies - sure they're more interactive, but that doesn't mean the main character is ME.

I think the problem is that you think roleplaying has anything to do with infusing your "character" with your beliefs. If pen and paper players would always play their characters with the same moral and ethics, it would be very tedious (for them and their coplayers).

Add to that that grand strategy games do not usually have many actual roleplaying choices that are well thought out, and that if you actually try to roleplay the AI players will usually cramp your style, and the activity becomes a complete bore.

To sum up: I have quite unconventional political views and I never have let them dictate the way I play a game.

Even in games that allow and encourage to play through them "the way you think is right" (most of the well made CRPGs), I will usually play a first time following my way of thinking, and then choose another way to behave the next time around.

If you want to practice being what you consider to be a "bad guy", go play some actual RPGs first, and then apply that to grand strategy ones. My recommendation: Tyranny... :-3

Okay,fair enough. I try and make the game as hard as possible and more interesting with mods etc.

He’s talking about paradox games, so I imagine he spends most of his gaming time downloading DLC :o)

Wow, probably the first post of you that I agree on, because it's my way of playing too, most of the time. Except for "my little corner of the world", because I do expand, I just try to do it without taking from anybody else.

Games which support this are in my experience:
Master of Magic
Master of Orion 2
Alpha Centauri

Of course there is always a bit of luck involved, esp in terms of starting conditions and opponents. Sometimes it works out, sometimes there's simply no chance but the war path.

Now that you mention your "little corner of the world", I'd like to ask you, just out of curiosity, how do you carry your diplomacy. Are you a complete isolationist? Do you engage in alliances, if there are any countries/factions that do not automatically hate the human player? Do you respect them? Do you try to add stability to the game world? Do you help the underdog against the bully? Or you just defend yourself and that's it?

A further question comes to mind, but it moves away from the original topic, soI'm opening another thread specifically for that. You are welcome to share your views there as well.

I completely understand you, I also like to play defensively in strategy games, even in my beloved Age of Empires 2.

One of my first moves in the game is to build defensive tower - right in the enemy's base, denying some important resource.

Avoiding wars of aggression can be fun. You might decide not to start any war, but get victorious to the end of all of them. Sometimes you might even induce the opponent to attack. For example, by creating a local weakness in your defense system, or a structural one (an underpowered military, but always with the means to rapidly creating new military units). This means, creating a strategic trap and appearing as the retaliatory victim before the world and your citizens.