So my GOG launcher is broken and I can't use it. I've tried every possible solution to the "another account on this computer" thing and I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall here. I think the last update wound up breaking it and I can't even uninstall it if I tried. Anyone care to lend a helping hand? Thank you in advance.

Do you mean the "GOG GALAXY is already running on another account on this computer" error?

And you tried GOG's solution listed here? https://support.gog.com/hc/en-us/articles/360006856257--GOG-galaxy-is-already-running-on-another-account-on-this-computer-?product=gog

Yep, that didn't work either.

You don't need the galaxy client to access your games. Best thing you can do, is uninstall the client, and forget about it.

Just download your games from your account HERE
Ignore the blue banner, and use the normal installers underneath.

Actually, it sort of sorted itself out this afternoon. Thank God. But thanks anyway!