ok I gave up and looked at the walkthrough because I cant use the map and leave the manor...looks like Ive done everything and it says I should be able to use the map but cant :((( help please!

I'm assuming you already took the map from the small table in the library? So, you have it in your inventory, ready to use? Well, that's a question only you can answer - we don't know what you did and what not, but... You know you have to rightclick on it?