I have beefs with the Joycons at a conceptual level.

The only benefit of lying on your location is reduce some taxes at the eshop (or make them higher) To legally play japanese exclusives you will need a japanese console.

If you are willing to do "whatever it takes" because having a UK IP address and/or UK billing info may make buying from Japan eshop impossible. I think that is hardcoded but softmodding the 2ds can get you access via the freeshop BUT I wouldn't count on any new 3ds only VC stuff showing up.

That's right. And that's why I said "legally". Because by softmod you can play anything and change the region of the console (if you want to see the japanese eshop instead the european) also, as you said, you can access to the freeshop and tons of homebrew.

I meant Apple as they are after Steve Jobs died. He was really one of the only ones trying to stop the company doing stupid stuff.
That sounds like a good idea, but I don't know how I would do it. I don't think I have the skills for something like that.

there's most likely a guide you follow. I had somebody walk me throught it

Irrelevant. Why would you want it anywhere but the controller?

You won't even find Japan nor United States on your European 2DS's country list (it's not present on my 3DS either). If you want to play Japanese games, then buy the Japanese version of the console.

With the Switch, it should be possible to make the "all regions" version by creating three separate profiles (one UK, one US, one JP), unfortunately I haven't tested that yet. because I don't have the console.

Because I don't want the controller. :V

Hopefully that could work. Perhaps if I take the Switch I plan to get to Japan once me and my family can afford a holiday there, I'll create a profile within Japan alongside the EU one and just use the Japanese one from then on. (changing the language to English if possible as I'm still learning　にほんご).

If I ever decide to upgrade to a New 3DS so I can play Super Metroid, Mario World, Akumajou Dracula IV and the Binding of Isaac Rebirth, then I'll try and get the Japanese one. I currently have no plans for that as of yet as I got my 2DS last year from my Grandmother for my birthday.

So you want a tablet with haptic rumble and with no controls other than a touch screen? I'm confused.
There is no Akumajou Dracula IV, or at least it's not the game you're thinking of. Super Castlevania IV was just Akumajou Dracula in Japan as it's basically a remake of the first game. It was only the western release where they tried to pass it off as a sequel.

I already knew that: I used Akumajou Dracula IV because I meant the Super Famicom Remake and didn't want to confuse it with the Famicom Floppy original, as the remake is (technically) the fourth in the series, with Akumajou X: Rondo of Blood being the fifth.

It's kind of like how Doom 3 is named: it's either sort of a remake of the original or a reboot despite having a number in the title.

Don't forget - the "real" Rondo of Blood has been released earlier, on the Turbografx-16/PC-Engine. The SNES/SFC version known as Castlevania: Dracula X (Akumajou Dracula XX in Japan) has completely different levels. Also, Maria Renard isn't playable in this version.

The PC Engine one is the one I mean: I actually own the PSP remake which comes with the original ADX and a port of ADX2: Noctorune in the Moonlight (PAL version). Do you mean that it came out before Super Akumajou Dracula and the Super Famicom port after SAD? (unfortunate acronym)