really, what fun is a destruction derby where you cant hit a car. it seems that all the damage in them comes from the walls and tires, making it fairy pointless to actually you know, hit other cars. they also seem to defeat the whole point of the race when you cant get over 80 mph without slamming into a mess of objects turning you around and putting you in 8th place. maybe its just me, but i thought going fast, and wrecking into other cars was the appeal of this game.

It sounds like you're talking about the races - the fun is actually trying to win, despite the fact that the other guys won't hold back from bashing you. If you concentrate on smashing them, you're going to lose places for sure.
If you want a destruction derby, select Go Race - then Bonus - then Demolition Dash. That one's all about smashing the other guys into smithereens!

Give FlatOut 2 a try, if you haven't already. It allows you to be far more aggressive.

i guess i should download a demo if i can find one. are there any other racing games that specialize in destruction and speed over being in first. the destruction derby part of gta was always fun, but not the best to look at. i tried the DiRT demo, which in actual racing mode was pretty fun, but im just not a rally person i guess.

This game is more like a rally game than a demolition derby. Damaging your car actually affects your steering and performance, although the game encourages you to smash through things, so you have to decide if crashing through that sign is a good idea.
If this is your first time playing, I recommend you use the heaviest car you have available. The AI racers won't be able to push you around if you're driving a tank, but you can and seriously mess them up.