Posted on: August 9, 2010
Vestin
Verified ownerGames: 1834 Reviews: 5
Retired Miss Southern Carolina at a trivia contest
Theodicy, attempting to explain why God created a world not devoid of evil, usually states that the world is only perfect as a whole. Leibniz elaborated on this perfection, by stating that it is the biggest possible variety in the smallest space possible. Because of this - I highly doubt he would have enjoyed Syberia. I approached the game with high expectations, but also a lot of enthusiasm (which, as we know, helps leniency). Being the inquisitive and thorough gamer that I am, I scoured every location for exits and items and double-checked every dialogue option on every character. To my amazement - I discovered that the game features LOTS of VERY distinct items I can't use, pick up of look at, characters with one (or LESS) line vocabulary and locations that serve NO PURPOSE WHATSOEVER, being merely eye-candy. We all know the sad consequences of such a focus - the game is from 2002, so my titular analogy (self-explanatory, I hope) just gets more and more true as the time goes by. The story really doesn't help, because most of the "why" questions you might ask can only be answered with either "Why not ?" and "Because he/they can". The characters are bland, shallow and can easily be viewed as mere tools in overcoming obstacles. You don't care about their lives, because they are pitiful, insipid and most of all - unresourceful. They're either hopelessly stuck or in a downward spiral. Oh - and they're lifeless and unimaginative (both as people and as characters). The best proof is that the most lively, driven and witty person you meet is an elderly ex-singer. I kid you not. Also - don't hope for any optional content you can miss. Other than the things required to advance the storyline, the game has basically nothing to offer. Along the way, our heroine is also bound to receive a few phone calls from work as well as from friends and family. This gives us an exciting opportunity to learn about her personal and proffesional life, right ? Character development and all that good jazz ? As scary as this might sound - those are the most painful in-game moments I have experienced. Our call list boils down to four people. * The boss is more and more pissed off at our inability to get the job done. Our quirky vacation/adventure isn't exactly his preferred modus operandi and he doesn't hesitate to point it out. * The mother has the voice of a stereotypical mother-in-law and, believe it or not, she's even more annoying. You're flooded with her monologue dealing with unremarkable nonsense and, to top it all, details of her elderly erotical life. This just screams TMI... * The boyfriend is a self-centered, boring jerk with a huge sense of entitlement, cartoon-like jealousy and extremely weak idea of loyalty. He has the personality of a grown-up jock in a suit. * The "friend" is an airheaded ditz our character knows from work. Her hobbies include shopping, clothes and men. No, I'm not making this up, nor am I embellishing the truth. This leaves us with one person to describe - the main character. What we learn about her, we do from her interactions with the outside world and the people she knows (there's little to no mental monologue we all know and love). The latter certainly doesn't impress - take a look at the list above and imagine her life before the events in the game begin. What's even worse is that her reactions to the phone calls are, albeit in a very courteous way, variations on "I don't give a ***" and "F*** off", making you wonder whether it was the last straw or has she been dealing with this stuff that way for a while now. The former (seeing her interact with the world) can be irritating at times - at one point, for example, she refuses to pick an object up because it has been lying in a crystal-clear river for some time, making it "dirty and wet". If you think the solution would be to make it clean and dry - think again. We simply pick it up with SOMEONE ELSE'S HANDS. A few moments later remarking that we feel a lot like an adventurer. Back in the day, adventure game heroes asked for help when there was NO WAY to overcome the obstacles they were facing... That leaves us with the gameplay itself, the deep core of adventure games - the puzzles you come across. Unfortunately, they're clockwork-like predictable. You see a thing missing, you find it, place it back - done. What's worse is that you usually don't get much indication as to WHAT exactly you are supposed to do, and more importantly - a partial success will give you the same response as a total failure. Call it nitpicking, but I think you should rather get an encouriging response, telling you that while you're not there YET, you're pretty darn close, so you should keep trying. If either the characters, the plot or the gameplay were interesting enough to keep entertained, I would've rated Syberia a 4 and said it was good, but not the greatest. The hellish mixture where everything is surprisingly average yields a score of 3, for an average adventure game.
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