Posted on: June 19, 2014

Bieeanda
Verified ownerGames: 210 Reviews: 2
Sizzle, but no steak.
Terrible. The gameplay consists of a series of sliding tile puzzles with just enough goofy physics to make life annoying when your stack of crates flips out and scatters across the level. Once you've gone through the first section of the game, you've seen just about everything it has to offer. The horror elements are anemic. Flickering lights. Goofy monsters and wall textures that look like they came out of a DOOM .wad. Unbelievably tenuous Cthulhu mythos references-- you could lose the dorky Deep Ones and the silly story, and the game would be unharmed. Lose the goofy Future Facebook Contest thing too-- it brings nothing to the party either. Whatever elements of creeping... whatever are neatly extinguished when you get the ability to summon magnets shaped like toy dogs. At that point, things go from unimpressive to vaguely ridiculous. Most damning is that it's utterly charmless. The vast majority of the game is spent in Portal-style test chambers and being shuttled between them along an infinite wall of loading doors while the protagonist and his handlers witter away at one another. There's a sense of vast scale outside the chambers, yes, but nothing to evoke curiosity or fear, even when it starts raining fish(men).
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