BioShock™ Remastered

Not sure why people rave about this game, its a typical reaction shooter. Nothing special with a bland average story.

I have the original PC version on DVD, so can't comment on this version's issues. It is however, a great game. The downvotes for technical issues do not reflect the experience you'll have if it's working properly.

Everything about this game is just so forced. The city will be uNdErWaTeR! Why? Because it's cool I guess? Nothing about the in-game fiction or universe makes it necessary to be underwater; it practically never even matters in the game. What a waste of an interesting setting. How do we get the player to an underwater city in the middle of the ocean? Deus ex mechanical failure with a plane crash conveniently right at the entrance with the player conveniently surviving, and conveniently deciding to go down into a weird single-captivity bathysphere rather than wait for rescue? The entire game is like this. Contrivance upon railroaded contrivance that awkwardly yell "ISN'T THIS GAME SO COOL GAME PLAYER" until the designers must have realized they had forgotten to include any actual motivation for the player character to even be doing anything, so they slapped on a fucking eyeroll of a twist that made me want to punch the game in the throat. Plus it's just so damn boring. Enemies soak up damage like they're punching bags, and every single fight is the same. Oh sure, there are super powers, but they aren't any better at dealing with enemies than just shooting them. And often they're worse. The environments don't feel real. The sound is bad. The graphics are garish. The plot and characters are cringe, OMG, I almost forgot about a literal "they'll never catch on to my dastardly deeds muahaha (mustache twirl)" moment. It's such fucking garbage. It's as if the game was something totally different quite far into its development, and then Ken Levine was a high schooler who read Atlas Shrugged for the first time and decided to force that into the game and everyone had to scramble to try and make it all fit together. Oh that's exactly what happened? I was sold a spiritual successor to the System Shock games, and I got a dumb, flashy, self-important meta commentary with audio diaries and a 451 reference. Congrats Ken, you conned me out of $60 you fuck.

Who walks around with their hand out in front of them??! And why is it constantly twitching?!! Holy cow! This was awful!

I thought it was a bargain, it turns out I paid one dollar to wait a very long time to download a huge file that instead of entertainment only brought anger and fury to my life, sh1t crashes every time I try to access the save/load menu, I'm almost certain that the issue is caused by my installation folder not being in my C drive (I'm not moving this crap into my C drive, I have a small SSD just for the OS, and I'm not going to fill it up with 16 GB of a crappy submarine freak show) So I can only review what I could play so far, which is no more than half an hour. I find that system of injecting yourself with disturbingly large syringes a quarter gallon of unknown stuff that allows you to shoot lightning bolts out of your hands 3 times very stupid. ¿couldn't this scientists develop a gun that uses that juice and shoots the lightning without needing to poke your arms with needles every 5 minutes like a heroin addict? perhaps the blue juice needs a living organism to work, I don't know for sure, I didn't made it to any explanation, after the first save-crash, it was clear that advancing any more without solving that issue would be pointless Same difference, you take a puppy, tape it to a stick, inject it with the juice and pull its tail whenever you want to shoot. SOLVED! I can guess that the zombie like creatures were once human, but most likely they got addicted to the juice, and now suck dick or kill for a couple of shots of the stuff. I don't know what's the deal with the creepy wednsdey addams or her drill arm buddy, but honestly I no longer care, in the few minutes I could play, it was clear to me that this is one of those games that is made difficult by restricting your access to ammo, that's not hard, that's frustrating. I'm so angry I could punch whomever coded the save screen right in the ovaries.