I was first going to lecture you about denying her from inviting her parents visit you/her over Easter... but then I noticed it was about _your_ parents. :) Anyway, would that just been normal visit, or would they have stayed at your home for many days?
It would just have been a normal visit. The thing is I denied nothing to anyone. It basically went like this:
- /me returning late from work
- GF: "I should call your parents so that they will come tomorrow for dinner as this would be the best possible day to do this."
- ME: "Why would they come for dinner? Did you arrange something beforehand?"
- GF: "No but its Easter."
- ME: "I don't care for Easter and I'm honestly not able to tell whether it is necessary to invite them or not, do as you see fit."
- GF: "If you don't want them to come over neither do I!"
- ME: "That's not what I said..."
- GF: "It's ok. You can call them yourself if you want to. I'm through with it."
- /me feeling guilty for wanting to be alone
In a relationship, I've already stopped hoping for non-stop gaming for more than a few hours at a time, and even that mostly after my SO has went to sleep. At least she is fine with that, some don't like it even then. [...]
The thing is that she probably would be fine with me gaming, watching movies, etc. It's just that our day planning is really chaotic. She tends to fill up the day with activities that she wants to get done and usually those activities in a whole take more time than she has available. Her solution for this is to involve me. This makes it impossible for myself to have a decent plan for any given day. Even if planning is not the particular problem at hand she has a personality that demands immediate attention. Try reading a book when you're interrupted every few minutes.
This really goes against my sense of freedom. I like to not have to plan ahead and to do what I want to when I please to. I fear over the course of our relationship I have lost a decent sense of creativity. Before I met her I did compose some music, tried to play guitar, wrote lyrics or short stories. Now I'm unable to do these things as they require this feeling for freedom that is simply no longer present.
Another thing is that our day usually ends at the same time. If I stay up late to get something done she will stay up too. In the rare cases that she passes out on the sofa I sometimes try to get to the computer but usually feel like betraying her in the process. I ask myself why I do have to "hide" integral parts of my life from her.
About dividing house work: does your gf work too daytime, or is she a "housewife"? I think it helps if you still do some things without much asking.
At the moment she is mostly a "housewife" but that was not how it was planned when we moved in together. I have a feeling that she likes to leave it like that. I'd rather have two salaries at our disposal. Now she has found a small side job for like 2 days a week.
Ridiculing me over me liking "video games" is something where I have pretty low tolerance though. I've given up some relationships pretty early for that, as to me it tells quite a lot about the other person overall if he/she feels obliged to ridicule someone with whom she is supposed to be in a relationship over something he likes. To me, it is the same if I called her fat or ugly, "just in jest of course".
True... I blame it on my upbringing that I see "gaming" as personality flaw myself. Games were never valued much at home. My parents didn't stop telling my how I wasted my life with games and TV. It was no valid argument for them that many of my peers were into booze and fucking around somewhere in the woods. I got a sense of not being true
enough as many of the adventures I experienced were ultimately fake. This is overly stereotypical though as of course I had friends and of course we did stupid things were no computers were involved and of course we had a good time... Still the impression of playing games is a taint on ones personality persisted with me.
Anyway, such bitchings may come from just the other feeling neglected and not getting something from the relationship he/she wants. Some people may just be incompatible and want different things from a relationship.
You might have hit the nail on its head. Have to think about this...