since gog got quaked, i thought that its about time for a quaketastic giveaway. so i'm giving away one gift key with quake the offering (gog).

rules for participation:

1. join date may 2015 or earlier

2. not being an alt or scammer

3. positive and/or useful activity on the general forum during the last 3 months should be visible when using the forum search function with a user's name. if you participated in at least 2 different discussions (outside of giveaway or drop threads) in an positive and/or useful manner during the last 3 months, then you're good. should you have legitimate concerns about your eligibility, please ask me via chat

4. enter only for yourself (exception: i allow one user to enter for grargar, instead for himself. as grargar is now on vacation and can't enter)

5. in case you win, you'll have to redeem the code by yourself during the next 72 hours after i send it to you via chat. no retrading or regifting

6. giveaway will be closed on 06.09.15 (dd.mm.jj) at 18:00 central european summer time. winner will be announced during the next 24 hours after the giveaway is closed

7a. you're sure ask yourself "what tha hell happened to giveaway #1?" or? well in case you enter, you'll have to post a (conspiracy) theory, which explains what happened to giveaway #1. tinfoil, aliens, fake moon landing ... i demand a consistent theory containing at least 2 sentences

7b (optional). bring my best thread back to live, please: the ultimate pinky and brain plan to take over the world thread

8. random.org will be used to choose the winner

9. i preserve the right to change the rules in case the giveaway won't work with current rules set

10. i preserve the right to exclude entrants from the giveaway without any explanation

good luck

edit: new rule 4. enter only for yourself, no exceptions

I'll enter for grargar.

I think the first giveaway was deleted by the CIA after a member posted the secret formula for happiness in the thread. This formula leaves people so content with their current state that they simply become grinning comatose vegetables. For the sake of humanities future it had to be destroyed.

Edit:

Since grargar already has it I would like to enter for myself.

thanks for the Giveaway apehater :D

ahh, ninja'd well not in since grargar is already taken ;)

I guess I'll take the easy conspiracy theory: The Gogbears ate Thread #1! And it was quaking their stomachs so bad you won't see them again soon, since they won't come off the toilet again. All I say is: Explosive Diarrhea.

I'm in.

Your first giveaway thread dissappeared because you were offering the secret to immortality. You discovered this secret, while raiding an ancient tomb for artifacts. Something you like to do during your free time when you aren't working as a super spy. Soon after you created the thread, powerful aliens found out about this, then quickly traveled to Earth, Then they bribed GOG with alien technology that will help GOG take over the world and told GOG they want the thread removed. GOG couldn't refuse such an offer because such alien technology will help them conquer the world(their plan all along). The aliens do not want humans to become immortal. They said, we are not ready for immortality.

I'm in.

I think you originally typed Giveaway #1, but when you looked at the screen, you thought the "1" was giving you the finger, so you changed it.

Thanks for the generosity! If possible, I'd like to enter despite my (scammer-caused) negative rep. I'm probably one of the few squares who hasn't played Quake, aside from a broken demo I tried once maybe a decade ago.

The first thread's existence is a misdirection propagated by the CIA (in collaboration with GCHQ) to distract people from the real conspiracy: two top secret projects codenamed "THREAD .5" and "THREAD .5 MK II". Each project is so classified that the people working on the other half don't know about it. What is their mission? To create two halves of a superweapon capable of inserting DRM into any software, anywhere in the world. A satellite relay will locate signals given off by digital tech, online or offline, and zap an infrared beam at them to install DRM. Even CDs that you bought in the mid-90s won't be safe. They know that GOG users are the #1 most likely group to discover and defuse their plot, so they've started this rumor about apehater's first giveaway thread to confuse us.

If this post mysteriously disappears sometime in the future, that means they got me. Spread the word before it's too late!

Not in, but thanks for the GA and for your generosity. Just wanted to add in a conspiracy theory (more like total explanation):

You (apehater) are a genius scientist, able to travel through time and space with the use of intergalactic portal guns. You have a traveling companion, whose name is Norty. For the past 4 years, the both of you have been utilizing the portal guns, along with other useful extraterrestial gadgets, to travel the galaxies reaching far and wide. One day, a very mundane trip with your companion went horribly wrong.

You and Norty appeared on an empty dwarf planet. As you were reaching for another hit of Fractal Dust, Norty noticed a small stump in the ground. Trying to get away from your self-induced high, Norty closely examined the stump. Thinking it was odd that a stump would be present in a near barren waste, he kicked it. Not knowing that the stump was the basilar artery of a Subglorbian, a crusty, orb-like creature that is the size of a dwarf planet, the plane of which you two were standing on started to quake.

As cracks and crevasses started to appear, you were not entirely sure if your surroundings were real, as you have been on fractal dust for quite a while. Although the world spinning around you is very normal, relatively speaking, Norty falling into a chasm towards his death was not. Realizing in an instant that you must be on the neck of a Subglorbian and that Norty must have done something stupid while you were looking away for 2 seconds, you reached for your portal gun. In an effort to save Norty, you shot a portal to a space you believed was right below Norty's feet. Not realizing until it was too late that you had the "Abyss - Only use on enemies" setting on, you effectively removed Norty from existence.

According to the 5th Law of Neo-Newtonian Physics, all related effects of a user on the internet is deleted upon abyssal death. Norty apparently wanted to create a giveaway titled "quaketastic giveaway #1" before his death. You, upon realizing his final wishes, decided to continue and honor his generosity by fulfilling the giveaway, and honor his memory by naming it "quaketastic giveaway #2." Norty maybe gone, but his legacy remains.

Fuck off, scammer.

I kid, I kid. Thanks a lot apehater! Not in, but a big old +1. :)

I'm in.

I'm pretty sure the reason that I never saw "quaketastic giveaway #1" is because the classification board didn't allow it to be released over here. Thankfully, the sequel, "quaketastic giveaway #2", doesn't reward entrants for taking illicit drugs.

Not in. +1

apehater got hit by the alt army and cancelled giveaway #1 due to rep loss.

Ba Dum Tss

Thanks apehater! I'm in for the quaketastic giveaway!

Let's see.... someone already took time travel, another took a comic universe aspect with a wuba luba dub dub twist..., so I will guess that:

In this reality, giveaway #1 currently does not exist, but by referencing the fact that this is giveaway #2, you invariably create a ripple in the global consciousness that spreads like a virus starting with those who read your post. As more and more people read your post and become "infected" with this self-embedding thought, it causes into being the very first giveaway that was once nonexistent.

However, just as the Universe is prone to manipulations by the global consciousness (mostly from Antares V and the Vorega Outlands, but also somewhat from Earth), it also has the trait of being self-correcting--much like a rubber band will return to its shape after being stretched and projected towards the Eye of the Universe AKA Mike.)

Therefore, as quickly as giveaway #1 exists, it is removed from existence. Thus, constantly in a state of flux until Time's perpetual motion has slowly ground to a halt thanks to the universal friction of Entropy--no, not the sciency thing, but the guy who's in the next cell over to my left. I don't like that guy. Where was I? Oh yes, only then can giveaway #1 exist. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my basket weaving class. Don't tell them that I'm really making a nest for the second coming of the Easter bunny! All hail the fluffy whiteness of Glaaaboejnbwofklsdjoifwls.....

I think this image says it all. Not in because Quake is one of my all time favorite FPSs (if not the favorite) and i plan to buy it here eventually.

Not in
But thanks and +1 for this great giveaway. :)

I'm always In everywhere!

I know why it dissapeared satan did it so we can't know the layout of hell and get the Comeuppance on him/it/they!

Satan's been secretly Stuffing small kittens into glass bottles to juice out later his favorite juice is Kitten Juice Eww... Kitten juice

He doesn't want us to rescue the kittens because they will bake us a Cookie but they ated it!

www.Random.org

I'm in quake so aliens must have brainwashed me when ga#1 took place ... i only hope I'll snap back in the memories of it ;)
Thanks for giving quake and gl all!