Day 8
"That is (69) Soichiro Honda racing in on his sentient motorcycle called Agro. He is known for being favoured by lady luck, which is just as well as he is as dumb as a cowbell.
Your eyes do not deceive you, that really is a grinning disco ball that just entered the arena called (64) Bouncy boi. He comes with his own funky soundtrack."
The arena turns into a disco but with puddles scattered across its surface.
** Fight 22 **
* Dice Roll 1 *
(69) Soichiro Honda rolls 10
(64) Bouncy boi rolls 5
Bouncy boi boings his way towards his anime opponent as the arena gets down to (Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty by KC & The Sunshine Band.
Soichiro, lacking the IQ to not be overpowered by the music, starts dancing along clumsily, paying no attention to his foe.
Bouncy boi opens his mouth Pacman style ready for an easy chomp when Agro the motorcycle comes racing in, billowing smoke towards the Disco fiend.
Being unable to see, Bouncy boi accidentally bounces into a puddle which turns out to be a portal. He reappears in a land where funk and disco are banned and the only music that is permitted is Heavy Metal.
Soichiro swears he can hear an anguished wailing coming from the puddle in front of him.
Soichiro Honda leaves on his trusty bike.
Bouncy boi has the beach bar bouncing to his funky tunes.
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"Sat in the middle of the arena is the hideous (48) Shroomy, a mutated and genetically-weaponized Bleeding Tooth fungus. No, I have no idea how he got there either.
If you strain your eyes you may be able to see his opponent, (6) Lucy who is a fat louse with more intelligence than she should have. Something about her fills me with anger so that I just have to lash out!"
The shadowy figure blasts a section of the crowd with a disintegration ray, killing hundreds of spectators.
He clears his throat "Ahem, anyway back to the fight."
The arena transforms into a clearing in woodland.
** Fight 23 **
* Dice Roll 1 *
(48) Shroomy rolls 6
(6) Lucy rolls 8
Lucy climbs up the side of Shroomy, her lengthy stay in a magic resistant Dwarves grubby beard protecting her from any ill effects.
She has been travelling for a long time and is feeling a bit peckish. She munches a little hole in the side of the mushroom much to its panic.
* Dice Roll 2 *
(48) Shroomy rolls 3
(6) Lucy rolls 5
Shroomy releases his spores desperate to stay alive. The fat little louse ignores these and continues to tuck into her delicious meal, inviting some nearby caterpillars to join in.
* Dice Roll 3 *
(48) Shroomy rolls 9
(6) Lucy rolls 5
Some of the spores reach the shadowy ringmaster filling him with strange feelings towards the gross mushroom.
He teleports down to the arena floor and plucks Lucy up before having a good long sniff of her.
"You are from that blasted Dwarf that hunts me!" he yells.
Lucy squeaks in a terrified voice that she is just trying to get home to him.
The shadowy figure grins "Oh, you miss your fat, stupid Dwarf do you? I think I can help with that!"
Og'rialt appears out of thin air with a thump as he lands on the ground. "What in tarnations...?" he stammers.
"YOU!" He shouts spotting his long time nemesis "Hold still while I grab me ax... och, what in all of hell is that smell?"
He pats his face in a panic "Where has my mighty, bulbous nose gone to you cur!?"
The shadowy figure laughs and looks down at Lucy "Why don't you go help him find it" he says before clicking his fingers.
Lucy appears tangled up in Og'rialt's nasal hair and screams from the nauseous smell that assaults her. She looks down from her vantage point to find that the Dwarves nose has been relocated to just above his hairy butt crack.
In a panic she telepathically lets Og'rialt know where both she and his nose are.
They both take it in turns to vomit until passing out.
The shadowy figure laughs and returns to his alcove.
Shroomy leaves the arena even though no-one actually sees him move.
Og'rialt is at the bar having had his nose surgically reattached to his face. Lucy is cuddled up in his beard, content to finally be home.
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"The Elf you see entering while impeccably dressed is (9) Yorzmart Trussme, never barter with him as he could sell you your own Grandmother.
If you look hard through the mist you will see (40) The Dark Horseman in black armour and atop his trusty stead."
** Fight 24 **
* Dice Roll 1 *
The arena transforms into a muddy field.
(9) Yorzmart Trussme rolls 4
(40) The Dark Horseman rolls 7
Yorzmart looks around and starts to panic at his surroundings. The Dark Horseman decides to have some fun and gets his horse to run round and round his opponent, kicking up mud as it goes.
Yorzmart Trussme is beside himself with fear and revulsion as his fine elven clothes are spattered beyond recognition with muck and grime. He is left a quivering wreck as The Dark Horseman stands astride his mount, laughing.
The Dark Horseman trots out of the arena.
Yorzmart Trussme is sat at the bar, freshly bathed and with brand new clothes on. He could swear that the chair he is sat upon just chuckled to itself.
The band plays on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqoDrWXnld0&ab_channel=hobortdonos