Posted on: December 1, 2018
SlavaKosmina
Владелец игрыИгр: 319 Отзывов: 50
Yes, I know, I am THE OLDest fart here
Rosy glasses though? No I am not wearing any. I am a VERI-fucking-FIED owner of some 260 "good old games" here. Some are GOOD. Am I playing any? Not really. Hoping to play? Hoping to recapture the good old days one day when I don't have to slave what remains of my life away for rent and useless shit? YA!!! You BETCHA! Wishful thinking that. I'd played King's Bounty games first. Loved them. Then, I thought, hey, all that HOMM awesomeness bypassed me somehow when I was some 30 years younger, so let me try it... So I've tried it. IT SUCKS The tooted music? Try Baldur's Gate soundtrack (better yet King's Bounty soundtrack) and stick that HOMM soundtrack CD up your know what. How's the GAME though? Here's how: Choose the "kindly" brother's story. Get quest to pacify all nearby tribes. Get 3 Boar and 9 Halfligns for the army. Get killed. Reload. Go looking for gems and gold, dig through the ground. Do that for a dozen turns. Get a lot of gold, treasure and shit. Drink from a fountain. Get blessing. Kiss a Statue get luck. Pick a fight. Die. Reload. Go back to Castle. Yay! Can hire 8 more Halflings. Repeat above (except no more luck from kissing Statue) and no effect from the fountain. Try ANY battle again. Die. Nothing more to loot, dig or kiss or suck or drink on the map. Back to Castle. Turn, Turn, Turn. Hire 8 more Halflings. Try again. Die. Say: FUcK!!! $hitt!! Try to Turn-Turn again, no more Halflings to hire. An ENEMY ARMY emerges. It kills EVERYTHING that had KILLED YOUR army without breaking a sweat... Spit at your screen. Uninstall.
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