“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.” – IGN
“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale” – Game Chronicles
“This game is satire in it...
“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.” – IGN
“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale” – Game Chronicles
“This game is satire in its sharpest form” – Cheat Code Central
You play as the titular Bard, a roguish, manipulative and lewd songster whose priorities in life are the acquisition of material wealth and carnal pleasures. The Bard's pretty sarcastic by nature, but you get to decide just how scathing he is by selecting 'Nice' or 'Sarky' responses. Watch out you don't get too cocky though; folk you've upset may come back to haunt you.
During his raucous adventures, the Bard recruits a motley band of eccentrics and misfits to help in his ignoble cause. Enemies can be defeated using traditional or magical weapons and you can also use the Bard's dulcet tones to summon creatures. If you're tired of saving humankind or bored of games that take themselves a bit too seriously, The Bard's Tale could very well be for you.
FEATURES
Includes Original Classic Trilogy! Experience the legendary games that started it all!
Full keyboard & mouse controls, as well as controller support.
Supports English, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Polish and Russian languages.
German voice-over (accessible under Sound Options when game language is set to German)!
High-resolution and widescreen support!
Performance enhancements.
External URLs links on main menu for support pages and related media.
Bug fixes to original console release.
50 enemy types (not counting bosses!)
A vast world to explore with towns, wild forests, rivers, castles, towers, secret dungeons, snowy mountains, caverns, haunted tombs and more
A full cast of bizarre NPC’s
Over a dozen special boss enemies to defeat
16 magical characters to discover and then summon at will to aid you
Over 150 unique items of weaponry, armor, instruments, tokens, artifacts and loot!
More Song & Dance numbers than any other game, including a zombie dance-off!
Over 14 hours of outstanding voice-acting from top Hollywood talent, including Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the Bard, and the inimitable Tony Jay as the Narrator
Classics Games—includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3.
I played the original Bard's Tale trilogy back in the 1980s. This game isn't really for us. It's a somewhat generic Diablo-style action RPG that parodies fantasy tropes. The humor isn't bad but seems designed for teens. Graphics and music are fine. Gameplay is a bit casual but can be surprisingly challenging at times if you don't take your build seriously. The game is fine for what it is, but you you could do better. This would be worth buying if you're tired of grimdark, serious ARPGs, though.
I hope you kept the previous version of The Bard's Tale because you will want to have it. I tried multiple times to get this new version to work smoothly but the framerate is awful. I did contact GOG about this and they offered suggeestions but none of them had worked (not a critique against GOG). I had read that this version is a port of the mobile platform which had I known that, I would have avoided buying this version. Mobile ports are a mixed bag at best. Hopefully there is a fix down the road.
Great game, despite its age. Probably has the best script for a game along with Soul Reaver 2 that I've ever seen, funniest game I've ever seen. Has tons of upgrades, good summoning system and you'll never be bored with it, it has tons of value.
Here's a friend's warning for Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit users...
When I run The Bard's Tale ARPG - Remastered and Resnarkled I get the missing dlls error:
XInput1_4.dll
API-MS-Win-Eventing-ClassicProvider-L1-1-0.dll
api-ms-win-core-sysinfo-l1-2-1.dll
GOG should remove from the page that this game is compatible with Windows 7, when in fact it is not!
An example of an extremely linear RPG with passable humor, clumsy controls and really below average mechanics. The Bard's Tale could have been a great remake, but instead it fell flat into the land of manufactured gaming with the kind of bland taste you are left with after a fourth Big Mac in a row.
The game mechanics are just too simplified: Stats management is just a few clicks away from being AI managed. The inventory and equipment facets are just a side dish and might as well be automated. What is left is basically hack & slash 101 and a rundown the mill story with overused jokes. If it was just that, it could still be a fine game, but there's absolutely no replay value whatsoever from the action stretches in the game. They are massively boring. There's just very little strategy involved here and it grows old very quickly.
Save your money, This Bard's Tale isn't telling any new tales and whoever designed this doesn't deserve the pat on the back.
This game is waiting for a review. Take the first shot!
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