Posted on: October 15, 2025
Burrito
Verified ownerGames: 1492 Reviews: 48
"You Can't Get Ye Flask" in first person
I can't recommend this game. This is an interesting concept, but should have seen a lot of additional iterations before being released as a paid product. - Visual aberations are frequent. It has some clearly intentional "whooo spooky" digital glitching that's unsuited for the narrative context, but it also will randomly fail to understand how lighting works under a shelf or inside a container, flickering the area in and out of existence. Things in the darkness become LESS visible as you get closer. Just, a lot of visual oddities. - If you walk up to a window to look at the skyline, a second later the skyline blurs, like you're depth of field has shifted to the invisible glass. It's headache inducing. I'm a big fan of first person games and neon drenched bullet hell arcade games, but there's something about There's A Gun In The Office in particular that stabs me between the eyes. - The button to use your held object, put it down, or (with one exception) use the thing you're looking directly at are all the same button. With that being the case, it's vitally important, especially in a game centered around completing tasks in a tight window of time, that the game understand the difference between "Perch the held key on the edge of the open drawer's handle", "Close the drawer", and "Put the key down inside the drawer". This game frequently fails that test. I have repeatedly looked directly at an object, gotten the context sensative notification that pressing the action button will move the object, and had the MC drop a small vital item on top of the object instead. I've placed keys on top on knobs instead of unlocking the knobs. Just... lots of that stuff, and it's constantly infuriating. You're not racing your kidnappers, you're playing a bad version of QWOP or Surgeon Simulator. - The room you are detained in has a bed. A very small part of it near the foot, nowhere near where you would intuitively associate with any "Get into the bed" action, has a hotspot that results in you getting into the bed, which ends the day. This is important, because your captors freak out and kill you if you're awake at 5pm when they get back, even if you're right where they left you. You can learn this, right? That you need to click the inside edge of the foot of the bed to end the day? But it's a perfect example of the kind of 90s point-and-click "guess what I'm thinking" logic the designer sometimes slipped into. - There are options that highlight when your mouse hovers over them, but that cannot be selected with the mouse. They need to be activated with a context sensitive keyboard button, despite highlighting when you hover over them like every other piece of software you've ever used. - The program is "UE" in the task manager / alt-tab navigation menu. (Not a big deal, I know, but it supports the argument - there are six playtesters listed in the credits, but it's so hard for me to believe that six people played this front to back and missed all these red flags. Not having your program titled properly on execution is a big 'Brown M&M'.) - You can clip into furniture (but clipping back out is not assured.) - Your vision glitches like you're a synthetic lifeform at the far end of an EMP rifle whenever anything 'stressful' happens. It's all digital effects and television static, nothing like shorthand for an elevated pulse. - You can find the gun... drug your kidnappers... get to the exterior balcony from which anyone without broken limbs could escape... or all three, and still lose because you didn't close a door. Or because you're hungry and ~really~ wanted a moldy apple, so instead of escaping you're gonna pout. - The arbitrary limits set to control the pace are infuriating. At one point you can't proceed because a small children's sized backpack is on top of the thing you want to manipulate, and it would just be too much effort to move that twelve inches. At another you need one last key to get the gun, so you just GIVE UP under the assumption that your kidnappers will conveniently leave it laying around at some future point, so it's back to bed with you. - The toilet paper model is hung with the loose end wall-side (underhand fashion), which is unforgivable. - Every day you have to steal a small piece of food, or you get caught by your kidnappers trying to escape (yeah, it doesn't make sense). There is enough food in the kitchen to feed a family of three for a week, but you can't eat any of it because it wasn't marked as a quest item by the programmer. You can starve into... being caught... by your already successful kidnappers... while surrounded by food. - You have to stand pretty close to an interactable to activate it. Because of this, doors seem programmed to shift you out of the way if you're in the way while they open... except for one, which closes itself instead if you don't throw yourself out of the way as soon as you click the handle, and one that opens away from you but reverses and shoves you back into the hallway behind you if you touch it by moving forward into it, in the direction of it's current motion. Got that? Moving WITH the door, pushing it forward as it rotates forward, causes it (and you) to move backwards. Just that one door. I've griped a lot here, but the synopsys is this: I didn't go a solid minute at any point without thinking "Really? This (new specific thing) got through to your final product?" I gave up on the final day because I couldn't escape, despite doing everything practically necessary to do so, because I couldn't find the last hidden apple/orange so the game refused to let me escape. On another game I might power through, but given all I've seen I'm not sure at this point that the necessary food item actually exists or if they miscalculated how many moldy apples to put in and never did a front-to-back playthrough during testing. A hard skip at anything more than a dollar, maybe a dollar and a half. It feels like a two buck itch game that started as an asset flip.
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