RATING / ESRB / A Created with Sketch. RATING / ESRB / E Created with Sketch. RATING / ESRB / E10 Created with Sketch. RATING / ESRB / M Created with Sketch. RATING / ESRB / T Created with Sketch.
RATING / PEGI / 12 Created with Sketch. RATING / PEGI / 16 Created with Sketch. RATING / PEGI / 18 Created with Sketch. RATING / PEGI / 3 Created with Sketch. RATING / PEGI / 7 Created with Sketch. icon_pin Created with Sketch.

The Procession to Calvary

in library

3.9/5

( 7 Reviews )

3.9

7 Reviews

English & 4 more
Offer ends on: 10/29/2025 00:59 EET
Offer ends in: d h m s
9.993.99
Lowest price in the last 30 days before discount: 3.99
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
The Procession to Calvary
Description
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8     Story   Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered!...
Critics reviews
95 %
Recommend
RPG Fan
79%
Softpedia
8.5/10
TheSixthAxis
7/10
User reviews

3.9/5

( 7 Reviews )

3.9

7 Reviews

{{ review.content.title }}
Product details
2020, Joe Richardson, ...
System requirements
Windows 10+, 2 GHz - Dual Core, 2 GB RAM, Version 10, 1 GB available space, Requires a 64-bit proces...
Time to beat
2 hMain
3 h Main + Sides
3 h Completionist
2.5 h All Styles
Buy series (4)
Buy all games in the series. If you already own a game from the series, it won’t be added to your cart.
-30%39.9627.80
Check out now
Description

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8

 

 

Story

 

Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...

 

Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?

 

 

Features

 

Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.

Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.

Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.

Standalone Story – The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but its story can be played independently.

Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situations, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice – and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...

Nonsense – A style of humour reminiscent of the surreal, anarchic comedy of Monty Python. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)

Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.

 

 

Special thanks to SUPERHOT PRESENTS, whose support made this project possible.

Popular achievements
System requirements
Minimum system requirements:
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
Time to beat
2 hMain
3 h Main + Sides
3 h Completionist
2.5 h All Styles
Game details
Works on:
Windows (10, 11)
Release date:
{{'2020-04-09T00:00:00+03:00' | date: 'longDate' : ' +0300 ' }}
Size:
633 MB

Game features

Languages
English
audio
text
Deutsch
audio
text
español
audio
text
français
audio
text
Português do Brasil
audio
text
You may like these products
Users also bought
User reviews
Overall most helpful review

Posted on: September 10, 2025

Neon Autumn

Games: Reviews: 7

The definitive higlight of the trilogy

Mr. Joe Richardson is, what people could call, an absolute madman. Weaving art, potty humor and clever dialog into one package, while managing to offend almost everyone (as can be seen by the 1-star reviews by the two priests, who unfortunatley picked this game to fill their rare leasure time), is a rare talent for sure. While all three games are great, The Procession of calvary can undoubtedly be called his magnum opus. The puzzles are not too challenging but cleverly implemented. And the way the real life paintings are altered to create the different scenes and sceneries, makes for a beautiful world to explore and a well rounded experience for (almost) any point and click adventure fan.


Is this helpful to you?

Posted on: September 12, 2025

MadPilgrim

Verified owner

Games: 411 Reviews: 214

Four Last Things Part 2

Great game for people who have a sense of humor and don't treat everything seriously.


Is this helpful to you?

Posted on: September 12, 2025

Conde_Barlow

Games: 132 Reviews: 1

Absolutely fun, definitely not offensive

I completely agree with Neon's opinion. It's a game that uses Renaissance concepts and art. It's not trying to offend anyone, but the Renaissance art it pokes fun at mostly contains religious motifs. If you're looking for a game that you can enjoy for how funny it can be, give this one or any of its “siblings” a try. P.S.: Before playing, I recommend going to settings and activating the monk option ;)


Is this helpful to you?

Edited on: October 18, 2025

Posted on: October 18, 2025

beermattuk

Verified owner

Games: 37 Reviews: 5

Brilliant point&click, dark humour.

Ignore most of the bad reviews - this is dark humour, and as such you always risk offending people. Don't buy this if you can't stomach dark humour. They also have a realistic view of religion which of course offends religious people. Obviously don't expect Triple-A either, this is a simple point and click adventure by a small team. With that out of the way - to the game itself. It's brilliant. There isn't just a light sprinkling of humour, it's everywhere. Closest way to describe it is Monty Python in game form. And it's very entertaining, plenty of genuine laugh out loud moments. You could take a glympse at some youtube playthroughs for an idea of the type of comedy, but I wouldn't recommend any more than a quick peak because it would ruin experiencing it first time interactively in the game. Graphically it looks and feels better to play than its simple style might appear at first glance. The art style is fantastic obviously BUT not only that, the way they've merged static art with movement is really good. The movements look comically yanky as is the intention, but there's no seams or borders or white backgrounds poking through as they move, it's all quite refined and very fluid, making it kinda immersive. There's also added effects like for example the static water has a wave effect running through it, there's moving fog effects in other scenes, it's not supposed to look realistic, but it does bring it all to life, and our simple monkey brains are easily tricked into making it feel more life-like than it really is.


Is this helpful to you?

Posted on: October 1, 2025

AG01

Games: Reviews: 2

Mocking Christianity is not the way

Grow up.


Is this helpful to you?

Something went wrong. Try refresh page.

This game is waiting for a review. Take the first shot!
{{ item.rating }}
{{ item.percentage }}%
Awaiting more reviews
An error occurred. Please try again later.

Other ratings

Awaiting more reviews

Add a review

Edit a review

Your rating:
Stars and all fields are required
Not sure what to say? Start with this:
  • What kept you playing?
  • What kind of gamer would enjoy this?
  • Was the game fair, tough, or just right?
  • What’s one feature that really stood out?
  • Did the game run well on your setup?
Inappropriate content. Your reviews contain bad language. Inappropriate content. Links are not allowed. Inappropriate content. Content contains gibberish. Review title is too short. Review title is too long. Review description is too short. Review description is too long.
Not sure what to write?
Filters:

No reviews matching your criteria

Written in
English Deutsch polski français русский 中文(简体) Others
Written by
Verified ownersOthers
Added
Last 30 daysLast 90 daysLast 6 monthsWheneverAfter releaseDuring Early Access

GOG Patrons who helped preserve this game

Error loading patrons. Please refresh the page and try again.

Delete this review?

Are you sure you want to permanently delete your review for The Procession to Calvary? This action cannot be undone.
Are you sure you want to permanently delete your rating for The Procession to Calvary? This action cannot be undone.

Report this review

If you believe this review contains inappropriate content or violates our community guidelines, please let us know why.

Additional Details (required):

Please provide at least characters.
Please limit your details to characters.
Oops! Something went wrong. Please try again later.

Report this review

Report has been submitted successfully.
Thank you for helping us maintain a respectful and safe community.