POSTAL: Classic and Uncut

I consider Postal a classic game. It was innovative for its time, not for anything it does, but for its concept. A lot of people don't like it, and that's quite alright. For a lot of people, it's very easy to hate. The trick is knowing what this game is and what it is not, and how that might apply to your tastes. Consider the following: CONTROLS A weak point, here. The controls are pretty bad, but this was before the time of intuitive isometric controls, and was very much not built for dual-analog joysticks. There are buttons for running forward and backward, buttons for turning, and with the press of another button, the turning becomes strafing. Trying to do any of these things together is difficult, and often frustrating. Unless you manage to master the control scheme, be prepared to get shot a lot just moving around a level. It's possible to configure the controls for various schemes, including support for mouse and joystick. I got the most out of joystick control, but it's still a tad irritating. You can try to use the mouse, of course, but it feels awkward, moving the mouse left and right to swivel in place. It's also quite easy to forget that you can duck, which is really only useful in dodging missiles, but it can save your life. There is a crosshair, but it's practically useless. It doesn't show up on screen until you're practically pointed at an enemy, anyway, and exists as a kind of weak auto-aim assist. It doesn't apply to thrown explosives, however, which makes those a pain more often than not. All that said, it is possible to get used to the controls, and to make a decent game out of it. You may just have to crank down the difficulty, some. GAMEPLAY Some would call this a weak point, but I do not. Postal, to me, is actually a casual game, though that might sound odd. It's not built for extended hauls, but it's great for "quickplay". There are no complex goals, no missions, no variety of play styles or alternate solutions to challenges. The gameplay boils down to "kill X badguys, go to next level", and that's it. That's really it. Play for any real length of time, and it becomes very boring very fast. Myself, I play one or two levels at a time, and then stop. I find this works well, as it seems fresh again when I come back, and doesn't wear out its welcome. There is a small variety of means for dispensing pain, but even those can be boiled down to either "shoot" or "explode". You have various ranged guns, various grenades and bombs, and ranged explosives (missiles). You can also use environmental explosives, like barrels. The experience remains largely the same, however. If you're a good shot, explosives can be very effective, but it's hard to aim. You can shoot barrels, but unless you're trying for a group, the amount of shots you expend to blow the barrel could've eliminated a single enemy, anyway. The guns are your primary weapons, some with greater range, some with better damage, but only your weakest has infinite ammo. As for items, there isn't much. Your pickups amount to weapons you can find, ammo for those weapons, body armor, and health. All of these are very precious, so they're not bad, but don't expect anything unique or cool toys to use. It's just tools to keep you alive, and tools to get others not so. Level design is a double-edged sword, I think. The artwork is actually fairly interesting for the time, and I've had a lot of enjoyment just in admiring the look. However, considering the simplicity of the gameplay, there's not much that can be done to make level layouts interesting. A few alternate paths here and there, some bottlenecks (which can hurt you as much as help you), and some "secret" nooks to hide pickups in. As a sidenote, there is a feature to allow you to see yourself behind objects, but it must be noted that this applies only to you, not to your enemies. It's quite easy to run behind something, looking for ammo or health, and blunder right into an enemy who very quickly gets the drop on you. Woe be to you if this enemy has a missile launcher or firebombs. PLOT Okay, this is the one. The sticking point that earns this game the most praise, and the most scorn. The only amount of "plot" this game has comes in the manual. Don't expect to see a hint of it in the game. Personally, I think it feels tacked-on, like someone decided there should be a shred of something to keep the moral wolves at bay. It's a fun little read, but it's largely unnecessary, and won't likely alter the experience for you, though mileage may vary. Stripped aside of plot, this game would appear to be nothing short of a "murder simulator" that puts some people's various undergarments in a twist. The game is about killing. Nothing but killing. No clear judgement, no sense of vengeance, no orders from any authority. You're just some guy shooting a bunch of other people. Is this bad? Well, it depends upon your viewpoint. The game's goals are not "kill everyone". You're tasked with blowing away enemies that are sporting firepower for no good reason other than to shoot you with it, very much before you even give a dirty look in their direction. In fact, unless you're quick on the draw, chances are you won't fire the first shot in the game. Does that make you the psycho, or are you mowing down other psychos, as the manual's plot suggests? You can kill innocent people, but this does nothing for reaching the level goals, and is entirely up to you. As far as being a murder simulator, I think the Hitman series did a better job of that, or maybe Manhunt. There's a wealth of violence and brutality here, but it's tinged--just barely--with dark humor and cynical wit. I enjoy blowing people away in any game, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go out and do it for real, or that I would be any less shocked or disgusted by real-life violence. This is entirely for blowing off steam and releasing aggression on a bunch of pixels and programs. It's fun. CONCLUSION I can certainly see where RWS was going with this, and I applaud this game for spawning Postal 2, which is one of my favorite games of all time. Dark humor, over-the-top violence, and an ascerbic, cynical main character. These things were birthed with this game, and grew up to be so much more in the sequel. If you're looking for something deep, this game is not for you. If you're looking for plot, this game is not for you. If you're looking for rich gameplay, a variety of loot, strategy, or a moral center, this game is not for you. On the other hand, if all you're looking for is mindless, straightforward, distilled, pure action gameplay that is positively excellent in short bursts, this game will give you decent meat to chew on. I, for one, am glad that RWS' works are showing here. They're an underrepresented niche of mature humor, and I salute them. Postal: Classic and Uncut is not a perfect game. It has it's frustrations, and at times it's repetitive and basic, but for what it amounts to, it does its purpose well, and it's certainly worth the small chunk of change that it's being offered for here.

Weird creepy mix of poems and jokes and insane pencildrawn style levels surround a unforgiving and unrelenting isometric shooter. This is Running with Scissors before the hilarity and crotchy jokes. You're only going to find suicide humor and a really hard game here. A nice mix of weapons and game modes make it an ok overall package, although it's hard to really dig in and play for extended periods of time due to how unflinching and oppressive it is. I love it anyway.

Want to know what its like to go on a psychotic rampage? A psychotic or a psychopath needs no story. Just to make the noise in their head go away or to exist to make others suffer, depending on which one you are talking about. It needs no plot because of this. If you need to take out some pent up aggression, this is one of the more healthier ways to prevent yourself from being admitted into a maximum security psych ward. If you are already psychotic or psychopathic then you should probably admit yourself already.

I love mindless violent games and games that require you to think about what your doing. Postal comes into that category for me, but the controls aren't very good, so I think it's pretty mediocre in that way or old controls. Other than that it's a fun game with some mindless violence for a few hours.