POSTAL 2

Postal 2 is not what I would traditionally consider as a "good" game, but it somehow manages to come together and create a solid, addictive experience all around. Firstly, Postal 2 is a significantly different game to the original Postal. Whereas the original Postal is a very serious and edgy twin stick shooter (which later inspired the mediocre game 'Hatred'). Postal 2 is a very comedic, yet still edgy first person shooter. Postal 2 largely drops the serious edgelord vibes of the original game for a much more comedic but still offensive style. I feel that the more comedic style of Postal 2 has aged much better than the serious style of the original Postal. Postal 2 is sort of the South Park of video games, it's caused a ton of controversy and has something in it that will offend just about everyone. If you aren't comfortable with being offended, then this definitely isn't a game for you, but if you can appreciate the satirical tone of the game, some of the offensive humor can be appreciated. -Postal 2- The base game of Postal 2 is definitely where I think the game shines the best. The simple premise of the game is that you are the Postal dude, now living in a trailer in the fictional location of Paradise, Arizona, and you need to get through the week completing all your errands for each day. These errands are often seemingly simple tasks like getting milk from the store or getting an autographed copy of Gary Coleman's book (voiced by the real Gary Coleman). These tasks may seem simple and they absolutely can be, but where Postal 2 gets interesting is that the game gives you a large amount of freedom to complete the tasks however you'd like. Want to buy milk like a good civilian? Save up the cash and feel free to do that. Want to hold up the store and steal the milk just to avoid spending a few bucks? You sure can do that as well. Postal 2 gives you such a large amount of choice and freedom that it's actually possible to complete the entire base game as a pacifist and I believe there's actually an achievement for doing so. The objectives, while seemingly mundane and simple, can actually be quite fun given the variety of ways that they can be completed. Another thing that often happens is a twist. You can complete an errand when all of a sudden something goes wrong and you have to deal with it. Such as when you need to get a toy Krotchy from the mall but they're all sold out. So one of your options is that you can choose to go in the back and steal one from storage, but if you do this, then the Krotchy mascot will rush into the room with a rocket launcher and a large amount of health, causing a fairly difficult fight to ensue. You never really know what to expect on your first playthrough of Postal 2, and that's one of the greatest things about it, it's unpredictable and keeps you on your toes. So those are many of the positives of the base game, but what about some negatives? Well Postal 2 definitely has some issues worth mentioning. First is the amount of loading screens. The map of Paradise in Postal 2 is split up in chunks separated by loading areas. Obviously this was due to weaker computer hardware at the time, but playing the game on a modern system, some of these maps are pretty tiny and require loading screens to travel around constantly. Thankfully due to modern hard drives and SSDs, the loading is pretty quick nowadays but back when this game first released, it was probably awful to have to wait around loading so often. Another issue with the game is the odd weapon balance. Some of the weapons are really good and other feels very weak and sometimes useless. The rifle is a solid gun, but has pretty bad bullet spread making it very inaccurate. The pistols are pretty accurate but have weak damage, even when getting headshots. The base game shotgun can require sometimes 3-4 shots to kill an enemy on Normal difficulty which feels odd. The sawed off shotgun from the Apocalypse Weekend expansion feels a bit more powerful than the regular shotgun. The guns take a bit of getting used to, but when you learn how to use them, it's really not that much of an issue. Other than that, there are some smaller issues. There are odd bugs and janky mechanics here and there. The map doesn't always align with the world perfectly and sometimes the fire effect can cause big FPS drops. These are just some slightly annoying issues, but nothing that really ruins the experience. Overall, I quite liked the base game and it was definitely a solid experience despite some of the jank and flaws with the game. The satirical gameplay of taking common, everyday mundane tasks and turning them into crazy memorable events is quite enjoyable and fun to play through. 8/10 -Apocalypse Weekend- Apocalypse Weekend is the second expansion for Postal 2. The first expansion was Share the Pain, which added multiplayer but no new story content as far as I know. Apocalypse Weekend picks up where the base game left off. After the Dude's "firearm accident" on Friday, you wake up in the hospital having survived, albeit with some head trauma that causes scripted hallucinations throughout the expansion. It's now Saturday and instead of being back in Paradise, you're in a new map called Lower Paradise. This map is much more linear than the base game which was a bit disappointing. Actually, the entirety of Apocalypse Weekend is much more linear in general than the base game. This does have some benefits of having a few cool linear levels, but I missed that extra freedom that you get in the base game. Regardless, instead of having a checklist of errands to run, you just kinda go through the level, Half-Life style. Sometimes the Dude will say a subtle voice line hinting to the player on how to progress so that you don't get stuck. There's no map available for Lower Paradise which is a bit frustrating at times because the main area of Lower Paradise can be confusing to navigate and it's easy to get lost. Apocalypse Weekend, given the name, has you play through Saturday and Sunday as two new days. Like I mentioned, the style is much more linear, so it doesn't really feel like an extension of the base game, but it's not bad either. I felt that Saturday was just alright. It has some good moments (like the famous Pigeon Mission cutscene), but some of the missions were just plain and boring. Bashing cows with a sledgehammer gets old after about 2 minutes and the linear style of the mission just makes it feel incredibly boring. Sunday, I felt was a bit better. There's still some boring moments, but the later sections are very action packed and fast paced which is where the linear level design actually works pretty well. The new weapons in Apocalypse Weekend are pretty good and fun to use. Overall, Apocalypse Weekend is solid, but lacks the freedom that makes the base game so addictive. 6.5/10 -Paradise Lost- It was a pretty big surprise when over 10 years after the game had released that a new DLC expansion was announced to be releasing in 2015 called Paradise Lost. This one begins long after the ending of Apocalypse Weekend. It returns back to the Monday-Friday week system of the base game which is really nice. The map is a bit different than the base game as a result of the end of Apocalypse Weekend. The idea of this DLC is that you return to Paradise looking for your dog, Champ. You also find that you have a new voice inside of your head: the "Alternate Postal Dude" from the 3rd game that we don't talk about. This DLC has many new and returning characters and factions from the base game and you get much more freedom in this DLC compared to Apocalypse Weekend. Overall this was an improvement over the previous DLC, but still fell a bit short of the base game. I'd like to go into more detail, but I've just about maxed out the review limit here, so I'll say that if you liked the base game, you'll probably enjoy it. 7/10

Whatever you do, have no regrets.

Just not many games that are more fun. Where else can you shoot a cat at someone then shotgun their head off whilst they're vomiting only to have the vomit spew from their neck stump and ooze down a slope? You get to shoot many amusing stereotypes in a game that claims it is "Only as violent as you make it" and you will laugh at the mania and start to worry about the fact that you are laughing at it. Also on the fourth day or so there is a marching band, cover the alley in petrol, draw a fuse trail with the petrol then ignite it once the band enters the alley... Enjoy. It rains cats.

Very playable today. It had a lot of shortcomings even back when it was released, but the absurdity is timeless and is even enhanced by the the now very dated technology it uses. It's a forerunner for all those weird and experimental games that have made their way through Steam in the 2010's and that deserves to be experienced for anyone curious about this wonderful medium, outside of the big trends and mainstream.

If you are looking for a game with deep game play, wonderful character development, romance, and an excellent story, this is not the game for you. If you enjoy sophomoric humor, first person shooters and have a dark sense of humor, you will probably love it. I mean it has a phallic shaped mascot and Gary Coleman, what more could you want? The best description I could give of this game would be, if Leisure Suit Larry had a love child with the Natural Born Killers and they turned it into a FPS... or if Tom Green and Johnny Knoxville made Doom. Some of the sprites are clunky (acceptable for the time of the original release) and the AI isn't always that great. The oddball weapons, silencers and one liners makes up for that stuff. A lot of the environments are fun and unique, if not a little quarky. The interesting thing about the game is, it's only as violent as you want it to be. You can actually complete it without being a psychopathic mass murdering killer. Overall, I'd recommend it, but only if you have a dry dark sense of humor and enjoy time wasting first person shooters.