Posted on: May 31, 2012
patwater
Jeux: 188 Avis: 6
You Can Never Go Home Again
The Legend of Grimrock tells the story of four captive heroes, banished to the depths of a dungeon from which they must escape... or perish. But even if they manage to get out, where will they go? They're fugitives, and can't return home--a perfect metaphor for the old-school gamers who want this game to recapture the glory days of dungeon crawling. I played Eye of the Beholder as a youngster, and was lured to Grimrock by promises of a new adventure with an old-school heart. Now, I'm not saying it's a dud because it isn't Eye of the Beholder--but after reading page after page of rave 5-star reviews (There are seriously over a hundred of them,) I am convinced that this game uses some glamer spell to convince older gamers that they're actually playing their childhood favorite for the first time again. Somehow I passed my Will save, and my disappointment was bitter indeed. The class system was intriguing enough--though I woefully miss the presence of a healing class--having two warriors in my party gave me a chance to explore two different builds, and found them each pretty satisfying. I actually found myself wishing I had a second rogue so I could see what some of the other skill progressions were like. The system for spellcasting is actually intensely gratifying: Your mage has a grid of runes and you select the correct combination for the desired spell. It's time-intensive and rewards you for accurately remembering the spells under pressure. This is the kind of innovation I was promised, and sadly one of the few I actually found. And the problem is that your character only learns spells when you do--sounds cool, but you learn spells by picking up scrolls which are a fixed locations throughout the dungeon. So be sure to put a few ranks in fire magic at level 1 if you don't want your wizard to stand around with his hands in his pockets during EVERY fight on the first couple floors. "Hey, good luck with the weird slug monster, guys. I'd have a smoke while you take care of that, but I can't even light up because I learned ice magic like a dumbass." Speaking of fights, they're terrible. During the first bleak moments after their internment in this terrible cave, I found myself, as many more generous reviewers put it, "Instantly immersed." I bonded and empathized with these four complete strangers, and truly wondered if they would ever see home again. But by the time of my billionth encounter with the spear-wielding skeletons who eat Chuck Norris and poop out the Juggernaut, circle strafing till I could see the wood grain of my desk through where the D and S keys used to be, I was only worried about myself--I was actually afraid I'd die of boredom before my two warriors became gray skulls, and my clothy and archer were forced to swing with their little arms in order to survive. The way the game forces you ration healing supplies is challenging and pretty fun--except for the spider level, where you WILL need to consume at least *at least* one antidote potion per arduous encounter to get both your warriors alive to the next. I've heard gamers talk about "grinding," but I didn't realize they meant the grinding of my teeth. Once he uses up that last anti-poison root, hands go back into the mage robe pockets, since ole Mudrolor the Wise spent all his mana like a fiend, spamming the one ice spell he knows in a desperate attempt to bring the misery of combat to a slightly quicker end. The only respite from the wildly difficult, invariably repetitive combat is the puzzle solving, which ranges from mildly boring to mind-numbingly boring. At one point you actually open a door by winning a staring contest with a statue. He never blinks, he just gets up and leaves to go do something more interesting. And then there's my favorite, and apparently the designers' as well: can you find the pull-chain? "Uh, I dunno, is it this one next to the door? Well, jee wiz!" Look, it's a decent dungeon crawl, if you don't mind a majority of uninspired, easy puzzles (okay, a handful of them gave me a hard time,). The main downfall is that the combat is a perfect storm of awkward controls, boring repetition and relentless difficulty. I realize this is a lengthy review, but I wanted to thoroughly explain why I disagree with the hype surrounding this game. Plus, I figured this article would be so buried under stacks of undeserved praise for this game that no one will probably ever read it. I think I see about a dozen new 5-star reviews posted in the time it took me to type this.
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