Posted on: May 17, 2018
Hanglyman
Verified ownerGames: 444 Reviews: 141
XTREEEEEEEM!!!
This game is somewhere between Half Life and Duke Nukem, without the charm of either. You play as John Blade, a hulking, dreadlock-festooned, google-wearing, lantern-jawed futurecop who looks like he was designed by Rob Liefeld. Backed up by a stereotypical computer nerd, J.C., as support, you battle against CEO Elexis Sinclaire, a mad scientist dominatrix and probably one of the earliest implementations of jiggle physics. While I have to give the game credit for including such an unusual antagonist, essentially a competent and seductive female Bond villain who eludes and outsmarts the oafish Blade at every turn, it's somewhat ruined by the way she's objectified and treated as a teenager's wet dream, from the scantily-clad posters of her everywhere to the way she fondles herself while watching Blade through a window to the viewscreen where you can spy on her taking a bath. It's possible to have a busty female villain who uses sex appeal as a weapon, but in this case she's more fan service than character. The entire game has this immature, dated attitude. Every bulletin board is filled with lame jokes or references to Army of Darkness, pieces of equipment say "90210 SUX" on them, and everything in general represents the worst side of 90s nerd culture. Duke Nukem got away with a lot of silly stuff because it was over-the-top satire, but one gets the impression that this game really thinks this is all edgy and cool. For the time, the level of interactivity was probably impressive- there are multiple exits to levels, things you do in one can affect another later on, there's an ATV you can ride, and switches and levers galore. It hasn't aged well, however, and most of this feels boring and pointless, not helped by a bug which forces you to use a no-clipping cheat just to continue the game. The combat is fine but the enemies are generic and boring, the plot is shallow, objectives are sometimes confusing, and most importantly, it's just not fun, immersive or interesting.
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