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The Procession to Calvary

in library

4.2/5

( 5 Reviews )

4.2

5 Reviews

English & 4 more
9.999.99
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
The Procession to Calvary
Description
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8     Story   Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered!...
Critics reviews
95 %
Recommend
RPG Fan
79%
Softpedia
8.5/10
TheSixthAxis
7/10
User reviews

4.2/5

( 5 Reviews )

4.2

5 Reviews

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Product details
2020, Joe Richardson, ...
System requirements
Windows 10+, 2 GHz - Dual Core, 2 GB RAM, Version 10, 1 GB available space, Requires a 64-bit proces...
Time to beat
2 hMain
3 h Main + Sides
3 h Completionist
2.5 h All Styles
Description

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8

 

 

Story

 

Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...

 

Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?

 

 

Features

 

Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.

Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.

Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.

Standalone Story – The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but its story can be played independently.

Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situations, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice – and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...

Nonsense – A style of humour reminiscent of the surreal, anarchic comedy of Monty Python. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)

Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.

 

 

Special thanks to SUPERHOT PRESENTS, whose support made this project possible.

Popular achievements
System requirements
Minimum system requirements:
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
Time to beat
2 hMain
3 h Main + Sides
3 h Completionist
2.5 h All Styles
Game details
Works on:
Windows (10, 11)
Release date:
{{'2020-04-09T00:00:00+03:00' | date: 'longDate' : ' +0300 ' }}
Size:
633 MB

Game features

Languages
English
audio
text
Deutsch
audio
text
español
audio
text
français
audio
text
Português do Brasil
audio
text
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User reviews
Overall most helpful review

Posted on: September 10, 2025

Neon Autumn

Games: Reviews: 7

The definitive higlight of the trilogy

Mr. Joe Richardson is, what people could call, an absolute madman. Weaving art, potty humor and clever dialog into one package, while managing to offend almost everyone (as can be seen by the 1-star reviews by the two priests, who unfortunatley picked this game to fill their rare leasure time), is a rare talent for sure. While all three games are great, The Procession of calvary can undoubtedly be called his magnum opus. The puzzles are not too challenging but cleverly implemented. And the way the real life paintings are altered to create the different scenes and sceneries, makes for a beautiful world to explore and a well rounded experience for (almost) any point and click adventure fan.


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Posted on: September 12, 2025

Conde_Barlow

Games: 125 Reviews: 1

Absolutely fun, definitely not offensive

I completely agree with Neon's opinion. It's a game that uses Renaissance concepts and art. It's not trying to offend anyone, but the Renaissance art it pokes fun at mostly contains religious motifs. If you're looking for a game that you can enjoy for how funny it can be, give this one or any of its “siblings” a try. P.S.: Before playing, I recommend going to settings and activating the monk option ;)


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Posted on: September 12, 2025

MadPilgrim

Verified owner

Games: 381 Reviews: 209

Four Last Things Part 2

Great game for people who have a sense of humor and don't treat everything seriously.


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Posted on: September 10, 2025

conrad42

Games: 274 Reviews: 2

A new low for GOG

Intentionally trying to offend people just isn't funny.


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Posted on: September 9, 2025

joelandsonja

Games: 520 Reviews: 128

Ridiculous Gaslighting

I honestly can't believe that GOG is releasing games from this publisher. These games are all purposely trying to antagonise people of faith in the name of "art". The descriptions of the game alone are extremely insulting to the Christian tradition. You can call it "art" all you want, but mocking people of faith, the crucifixion and those who suffered at the hands of tyrants is truly despicable.


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