Return to Monkey Island

The game is not a follow-up to Tales. In fact, it contradicts things from Escape & Tales, probably even Curse. The game is also not the fabled Monkey Island 3a, the follow-up to MI2 that ignores later games in order to fulfil Ron Gilbert's "true vision." It's an odd, little thing that seems to primarily focus on subversion and deconstruction of Monkey Island tropes. While also relying on nostalgia more than any other game in the series. In that sense, I think there's not much value to this particular game compared to all the previous instalments. For the lack of a better word, it feels... petty. Curse, Escape & Tales respected what came before and worked within the pre-established continuity. They were not perfect but neither were the first 2 games. Return... does not respect what came before. At face value it might appear that it does - after all, every game is mentioned in the scrapbook. But no. The game fails to be Monkey Island 6, it fails to be Monkey Island 3a, it fails to be anything at all, really. It's just a big "take that" from Ron Gilbert.

The ending was the least of the issues. MI1, 2, and 3 were legendary games; great music, great graphics, great puzzles, great dialogues, great voices, great humour, great plot, great atmosphere. Return to Monkey Island is just mediocre. It tries too hard to look nostalgic to people old enough to play the originals back in the day and at the same time tries to sound apologetic of the past and make the series and genre sound obsolete in accordance to a younger brainwashed generation. The creators were extra cautious, politically correct and demographically even. The dialogues, in both their content and the way they were brought visually and audibly, are in most cases unfunny and boring. LeChuck feels irrelevant, Murray is misused and underused, Elaine looks and sounds awfully cute and boring as if she is on tranquillisers instead of being witty and cynical as usual, Carla is too busy to bother, Wally sounds like a robot, Stan and Otis are not themselves, etc. The new characters introduced, with few exceptions, are just terrible and forgettable. Some puzzles are good, others too easy or obvious. The lack of non-linearity in the game doesn't help. There are seemingly large maps/islands/places where there is not much to do or interact with. Characters you would like to revisit, talk and interact again later in the game just vanish without any development or closure. The game feels rushed, especially towards the end. I just didn't like the art in the game and I didn't find the UI efficient either. But I would forgive these if the story, plot, humour etc of the game were even 0.5x of the originals. Sadly, they weren't. Big shoes to fill or not, high expectations or not, I didn't find Return to Monkey Island enjoyable enough to introduce to a friend or relative and replay it alongside them. A missed opportunity.

I could tell you how unfunny and reliant on nostalgia I thought "Return to Monkey Island" was... How questionable and annoying its "Old vs New"/"Old vs Young" writing was... How lifeless its world and characters felt... How disappointing its meta and meme dialogue was... I could tell you how disrespectful and patronizing I thought the option to "deny what you thought you saw" in the ending was... How simplified on mechanics and light on puzzles the game was (and I was definitely not asking for MI2 difficulty)... I could tell you the visuals just might be the best aspect of the game (how's that for a twist?)... But it's all subjective (isn't it?) and there clearly are people who enjoyed "Return" and its writing - I simply happen to not be one of them. The Developers' message (unlocked after completing the story) is sweet on paper but did not translate to the game at all. I guess it doesn't help that it's very distant from what I think of Guybrush and the Monkey Island series. I feel I wouldn't mind this game's ending had it been attached to a brand new adventure - it really didn't have to be built around "the Secret of Monkey Island" (both game and the "secret" itself). It didn't have to explicitly remind Guybrush and the player to "keep expectations in check" every 10 minutes only to then state it's not the destination that mattered but the embellished adventure itself. Too bad it was a boring one? Perhaps when I replay this franchise in 15 years (when I'm way into my 50s like the Devs now), I'll have some newfound appreciation for "Return" - as of now I'd say this was better than only-the-worst-parts of "Escape" and "Tales". Consider waiting for a significant discount just in case you're like me and dislike most of the game. I played through it twice - the differences are not major but in my opinion the Writer's Cut should've been the default way to play.

I find this Monkey Island 3 to be a monumental failure. Not in the sense that nothing is right because many qualities are present: the art direction is very nice, the puzzles are mostly interesting and the simplified gameplay is very intuitive. No, for me, it's a complete failure because there were 2 pitfalls the game could fall into: not reacting/explaining the so mysterious end of Monkey 2, and proposing a story that doesn't fit well in the timeline of the Saga. And these 2 pitfalls were perfectly avoided from the very beginning of this game, which was brilliant. All that was left was for Ron Gilbert to come up with an exciting story, he who repeated for decades that he had a story he wanted to tell at all costs, and that he had never told anyone «The secret of Monkey Island". And that's the rub: there is no story, just a simple McGuffin; the ending of the game (without spoiling it) shows that Ron Gilbert had already said it all in the previous 2 games. Also to be clear, I had no particular desire to know the secret of the monkey island, but simply to be told an interesting story. In conclusion, I say to myself that indeed it's better to leave your icons (Ron Gilbert and Monkey Island) in your personal memory box, because the disappointment of seeing that Ron Gilbert had nothing to tell was harsh.

The worst ending, just like Ron Gilbert intended. I'm not buying and playing any of his games anymore.