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DadJoke007: Never eat too much insanely hot chili while drunk. Even if you forget gorging delicious chili with numbed tastebuds, your butthole will still have to pay the piper.
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GameRager: Sit on toilet while eating....problem mostly solved(need TP). :)
It also works to get drunk a second time when you're about to take a shit the day after your drunken your chili gorging. Some battles you just don't wanna fight sober.

Not that I have any experience in this field.
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DadJoke007: Not that I have any experience in this field.
;D
Never read one of DadJoke107s posts with a mouthful of vodka.

(Not that I have had any personal experience in this regard.)
Never go on a skiing trip without TP.

(Not that I have had any personal experience in that regard.)
Post edited March 25, 2020 by sanscript
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Don't ever hold big gatherings in the middle of a major pandemic.

(Yes, this means you may have to give up going to church if you're that sort of person.)

Edit: Why the low rating?
Post edited March 25, 2020 by dtgreene
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Never forget your coffee/tea(if one drinks such) once you hit around 35 or so....it gives some a much needed boost of alertness in some cases.

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dtgreene: (Yes, this means you may have to give up going to church if you're that sort of person.)
Some younger people could do such(religious gatherings in small spaced out groups while following other safety guidelines), and just avoid others for a month(give or take a week either way) while letting others know to avoid them if need be.
Post edited March 25, 2020 by GameRager
Never go outside again or interact with other people IRL.
Never expect others to abide by "social distancing" or "self quarantining" as a means of preventing a pandemic.
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Hooyaah: Never expect others to abide by "social distancing" or "self quarantining" as a means of preventing a pandemic.
On a similar note:

Never make new words to substitute for "worse" words and enable the word carousel needlessly.

(The above goes out to whomever invented the term "social distancing".....there's nothing social about it and we all know it's actually a quarantine/isolation :))
Post edited March 25, 2020 by GameRager
Never lick the hand rails on subway escalators.
Never close your car door on your ear! (it was very difficult to do, but somehow i pinched my ear between door and frame, while simultaneously hitting my head on the roof inside the car.) :O
Post edited October 05, 2020 by Microfish_1
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Microfish_1: Never close your car door on your ear! (it was very difficult to do, but somehow i pinched my ear between door and frame, while simultaneously hitting my head on the roof inside the car.) :O
Ouch...well at least yer ok now I hope? :)

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Mine:
^ Never forget that I "checked it out."
(I read it and returned it the same day.)
NEVER pre-order games
NEVER buy micro-transactions
NEVER support gaming companies that treat gamers as mere cash cows
NEVER give into hype for video game releases
Never use less than 4 layers of toilet paper (to clean up, after emptying ones bowels), especially if it's of the cheap variety...
Never sneeze while driving a vehicle at high speed, and drinking a milkshake , or eating an ice cream...
Never search for a gas leak with a naked flame...