shitty recipe #1: vietcong coffee , sri lankan full english breakfast, and a dash of johnny walker. wait for it to cool, put it in the icebox for 2 hours, take it out and stir.
shittier recipe (it won't taste good): 1/2 pint of guiness stout , bovril to taste(heh), a few drops of sesame seed oil, can of redbull original thailand version, 10-20ml of dextromethorphan.
Well, inspired by your "shitty recipes", I just had a shot consisting of gin(2/5), chipotle Tabasco(1/5) and soy milk(2/5). I was expecting to die out of the horror of its taste and texture, but it was actually pretty good.
You can never go wrong with Tabasco, it seems.