^thinks bidets are fancy drinking fountains.

^ goes around tippexing out words in tourist guides for americans, then writes "a bidet is a fancy drinking fountain".

^ponders how life wound have been had he not taken that escort job from the odd Parisian with the fake moustache. No, not the job involving the balloon. the one involving the duck.

Wonders what life would have been like if he would have had enough oxygen at birth. :P

^Collects used urinal cakes.

^ still cant get that "pine fresh, toilet taste" out of their mouth after the word "cake" got them over excited

^ Has not left the loo since International Women's Day; their family has called the fire department to break down the door.

^ Is very concerned that the stall next to them is occupied, as such concentration on their part to pass an avocado pit, is too much to bear in silence.

^ Used to hang out with Boy George for many years, sharing their make up and accessories like so many good friends do; had a fall out over a coral hairpin they both wanted to wear at George Michael's birthday party, and never spoke to each other again.

^ Someone everyone should watch, very closely, around their diaper.

Edit, damned adverb needed.

^ Invented and patented the world's first wearable latex diaper for active men; is so fascinated by his invention that wears them 24/7, always looking to improve them.

^ Enjoys this invention so much, that investments were made to hire people to pull on the front to build natural cavities in the latex for a supposed "more natural fit."

Has an extensive video archive of these activities, under the guise of protecting investors, and justifying managerial expenses in the R & D department.

^ Worked as a verger for many years, but was laid off when found to regularly wear the bishop's vestments.
Found his dream job posing as the model for the aforementioned cavities; insists in being paid only in latex diapers.

^ killed the popular pope, dumped the body in the pooper, stole the key and his silly hat. now has a small cult following in parts of rural texas.

^went the organic route in his garden by using his own poo. It works as both fertilizer and insect repellent.