I'm not exactly sure how to start this post, other than to do so as honestly as I can to share a piece of a story of what it is like from my perspective in order to share a piece of my life and what it is like. I am writing in this manner in the hopes that it gives some perspective of the challenges and hopefully imparts some understanding to others, who may not have experienced life from this perspective, in the hope that compassion and understanding for others ensues. I will be okay, no matter what happens. My knowledge and survival instinct is strong enough now to continue, no matter the criticism and adversity for doing so.

Disclaimer: I am heavily intoxicated, which is my means of temporarily dealing with the continued shit of trying to be a "part of of this civilised society." If that irks you, skip to a more easily digestible thread :P

Brief history: I came from an upper middle-class upbringing, shitloads of money in the family (current estimates are AU$5+ million assets of my father's side and AU$2+ million on my mother's...so far 2 inheritances that I have a legal claim on have been unchallenged, regardless of testate, and I am okay with that and leaving them be) I am currently on the disability pension due to mental issues. Yay I came from money and learned a lot about the meaning of money and family, and yes this is a subjective opinion and I haven't done "anything" to earn this money and am fine with that.

Current situation: Thea and I put in an application for the shittiest house in this town(Oberon). It is a 2 bedroom, run-down cottage, on the edge of town. Our (welfare) income and rental history can easily cover it. I have been chatting to people in town, as is my way, trying to open leads for paid or volunteer employment, and have had many enjoyable conversations with the locals. The issue? Thea has 1 cat, I have 3 (she is looking at spending 2-3 days with her parents and dogs in Blackheath) and we are being stonewalled. Regardless of the real estate agent joking that "we are interested in this property" (read shithouse as it is rundown and we are willing to put in the time and money to improve it) and paint the place, make it home and get a lovely vegetable and herb garden and convince the owner's not to put down carpets and pay anything to improve the place, our chances are slim.

We both have an exemplary rental history. However when that comes to paper, there are issues. We have both rented "privately", i.e not going through real estates (which is a fucking pain in the arse in this country). I rented for 8 years with my ex in one place and that ended up getting close to going to court as the landlord blamed us for the house flooding. Yeah 300mm rain in 3 days with a 1 metre wide felled eucalypt with root structure intact, the real estate forging an inspection to cover their arses, and the landlord ended up settling. If the real estate contacts them? Well it is the same result that I have seen with any power structure - doctors, police, government, etc = regardless of us winning the case and getting a payout, we are frowned upon. If I was in the wrong, then why did the landlord pay out AU$1250 (we could have gotten AU$5-7k) in rent owed for loss of property usage? Thus is the way of those without money; take what you can get.

I want to address the claims of me being on disability (which is becoming a major media and governmental issue) to give my perspective. I worked my fucking arse off when I was younger. I studied and worked as hard as I could. I completed courses and worked in market research, public relations and communications for many years. When I collapsed living in Sydney and moved to the Blue Mountains, I continued to study and work as often as I could. I have had at least 10 employers since I have moved to the mountains, all of them labouring and gardening postitions. NONE of those credentials are recognised as every single employer wanted me to "work under the table", i.e meaning the costs to them due to insurance and liability and tax were higher if I was officially employed. So gunsyd, Momo and other critics, please explain to me how I was to maintain some paper trail of employment when the employer wouldn't note my employment due to buearocratical bullshit?

Yes I am being defensive, and yet I am continually under attack for "choosing" my way of life. I am writing this to say that this position has caused massive friction between myself and Thea, and that I am getting to the end of my tether. I am becoming very disillusioned with trying to fit into any place in society and am seeing my choice of going bush to be the most logical choice. I know bushcraft and survival skills very well, and started training them in 2007 when I foresaw legislation making things more difficult for people such as Thea and myself.

My solution? This upsets Thea very much so, but it looks like I might be camping out in the bush and saving every cent I get in order to provide a life for us in the future. I am currently paying rent and bills for a house that I do not live in, and if my cats are not welcome to stay there, then that means I will take them bush with me. That also means that I shall get my compound bow, razor hunting arrows (I am a vegetarian and pacifist), and set up in the bush until we can find a rental property or cheap piece of land. This is my last resort, but I have tried and will continue to try to provide a space for us to live. I have had friends who have "gone bush" before for 1+ years on end, and one thing that comes out is a protectiveness of space.

Friends who are employed and wealthy have bolstered my spirit with their support, and I am loathe to say this, but when I come under criticism as I have on these forums, my defences go up and I feel like saying "Come to my camp with that BS attitude and see how you fare in the wild." I hope that I find the peace that I am seeking and lose that defensive attitude.

I will only be replying to this thread and via PM until I find the balance I need to be a calmer and more loving human being.