I've come up with a foolproof plan. I would insert (consensually, of course) the pickle into one end of the pool noodle in such a way that the ridges of the pickle run perpendicular to the length of the noodle. The 4th ridge of the pickle would then be deepened beyond factory regulation by the unkempt prison fingernail on my ring finger. I would then bide my time until the most goober-esque guard was about to cross paths with my cell. Upon hearing his footsteps draw closer, I would tumble the snowglobe through my bars, assuring that it rests roughly 5 inches outside of my cage. The guard, presumably having a fascination with snowglobes rivaling that of Charles Foster Kane, leans over to pick it up. I slip the pool noodle through my bars, leading with the pickle, and hook the aforementioned 4th ridge of the pickle through the dangling key ring on the guard's belt. I do my best to mosey my free hand down the shaft of the noodle, stiffening the end in such a way that I can pull the keys up and off of the oppressor and draw them within my cell. Keys open doors; I'm gone.


Would you now like to hear the story of how I used a pickle, pool noodle, and snowglobe to break free of the shackles of word count rules?

Long version:


After gathering 3 unlikely items in my jail cell I begin to formulate a plan of escape. The following morning I set my plan in action. Luckily I'm in a low security prison, in addition to being an unassuming looking middle aged woman. The three items I have managed to acquire consist of a snow globe, a pool noodle, and a pickle. And don't ask, I'm not in the mood to talk about it.

So, the first step in my plan is to get sick. Very sick. Luckily the pickle has been sitting around for a few days and is already in an advanced state of decay. All I need to do is eat it. So I choke down the pickle, wait a few minutes, and call for a guard. I inform her that I am not feeling well. Just to illustrate my point I covertly induce vomiting. As expected the rotten pickle lends credibility to my story. The substance that pours forth is as vile in look and odor as could be imagined. I quickly find myself being escorted to the medical facilities.

As I hunch over limping, I fall slightly behind the guard. Using my pool noodle (that I had earlier wrapped around my body under my clothes), I gently poked the security camera to tilt it just slightly up, leaving a gap in camera coverage. I waste no time slamming my snow globe into the back of the guards head. This stuns her and I use the opportunity to enlist the aid of the wall in more properly incapacitating her. I quickly remove her uniform and do my best to make it look natural on my frame. I take her weapons and keys.

From here it is just a matter of blending in and getting out of the prison. It actually turns out to be pretty simple. After making my way to the front entrance (waving cheerfully to the officer while I place the snow globe on the front desk), I simply walk out the front door. The final challenge is of course the channel between myself and land, freedom. Out again comes the trusty pool noodle (which had done an excellent job filling out the uniform and giving me a proper round about the middle physique) and I easily paddle across the channel to my freedom. It's a good 20 minutes later when I hear the alarm sound. Now to find something to eat, I need to get the taste of that pickle out of my mouth.



Less than 100 word version:


Eat pickle
Call guard
Throw up pickle
Get escorted to nurse
Use noodle to push security camera up
Take out guard with snow globe
Dress in guard clothes and gear
Return snow globe to front desk
Walk out front door
Use noodle to help swim across channel
Grab a bite to eat (hopefully)

Then GOG is being really useless!

O_____O

- I wonder who came up with the idea of putting it in there?!

I think I'm in the minority though as it seems most previous posters knew what it was and when I did a search for "pool noodle" on google, all kinds of results came up including this. Perhaps its a newer term for these things and we just don't keep up with modern jargon? :) So many made-up terms anymore its hard to keep track.

In the States pool noodles are standard issue at all prisons.

...and you know this... HOW?!
I think someone at gog is actually throwing random terms together, trademarking them, editing wikis to make them commonly known terms and then raking in the cash as every marketing team out there begins to the new term in fear of being outdated.

BRING ME MY TIME MACHINE AND LET US END THIS!!!

I really don't want to know what they are being used for (besides escaping)

night
get toilet paper wet it, stick on camera.
place pickle on ground with some water.
smash snowglobe.
take splitter cut myself, a bit blood, lying down.
nightguard comes look and walks in cell,slip on pickle, falls, hit head, unconscious otherwise KO punch.
changing clothes.
take larger splitter, cut thinner-stable piece from pool noodle.
tying up his hands and feet, put a piece in his mouth.
drag him to the bed, cover with blanket.
Pretend to be a guard, go to exit.

I would write more detail but i would pass 100 words.

Where did you get the toilet paper!?

next to the toilet.
dont tell me now they dont have toilet paper.

You read the OP. Evidently in this prison they don't. :P Hey, it sounds as stupid to me as it does to you but those are the rules. XD
Sorry BTW if I come off a little loopy. It's been a long day. :P

Proudly display all 3 items inside cell. When the guard comes by to check on you, hear him exclaim "What? How the hell did he..." When the guard enters to retrieve your possessions, whack him over the head with the snowglobe, take his clothes and leave the prison.
On the road outside you bribe a road-weary traveller with the pickle. In the next motel you come by, take the noodle and celebrate your newfound freedom in the courtyard pool. Success!

First, I’ll take the pool noodle and keep annoying my cell mate with it. The prison guard will come and take me to solitary confinement. In solitary confinement, while waiting for my food to come, I will start crushing the pickle with the snow globe. Once the food comes, I’ll sprinkle the crushed pickle on to the food to give off the effect of mold. I’ll eat it and pretend I’m dying, causing me to be put into an ambulance. I’ll kill the doctors, with the snow globe and make my escape. Also, the prison shut down for health violations.

ahahah nah its cool man.
what the heck i am too tired to think of something else now and yeah, that sounds really stupid :)