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It's our birthday, and we'll rap if we want to!

'Cause you know our rhymes are wack
Feel the beat--you can't go back
It's a free game rap attack
If you wanna win then take a crack

GOG.com, as you possibly know, has turned five. In celebration of us turning five, we like to have gifts for you--let's face it, if not for you, we wouldn't be here. So check out the video with our mad phat beatz yo, laid by MC Enigmatic and the famous DJ Russkat, and then if you're inspired, feel free to drop us lyrics of your own! We'll collect all of the best lyrics and award up to four people 5 GOG.com games of their choice in exchange for their permission to use their lyrics in a proper GOG Birthday Rap video. We may even spring for proper moving pictures for the next one!

Please send us all of your submissions (by which we mean: leave a comment below in the forums) by Friday 20 September 2013 at 0900 Eastern time to enter into the contest.
Post edited September 16, 2013 by TheEnigmaticT
I'm sory, RAP is sooo not my style so try to use your imagination, some Yo! Yo! screaming in between the lines mixed with usual clothing styles and spasmodic movements.

Next time grunt some Metal into the Mic, would have been easier to do this...

Anyway, here goes nothing:

Hyperthreading, bandwith shredding,
multitasking, shaders basking
in money wasting triple A,
world of mother<beep>ing grey.

This modering gaming styles,
Making heeps of sh <beep> piles.

Shut up! This is gog you fool!
No place for that s<beep>, this is real old school!


Discs scratching, Windows not patching,
Emulators in vain, playing old games a pain

No longer true, No matter your setting
All but a few games, you are getting,
here on gog are fully patched.
with bonus content matched.

Nostalgia deluxe, real old school,
GOG Redux, old games that are cool!


Online passes, paying masses,
region locking, content blocking
asking where are you from.
Invading you with securom.

Always Managing all their Digitial Right
cause we're supposed to be pirates at night.

<Inseret Random Pir Arrrrrr te phrases and cheesy costumes here if you want>

Shut up landlubbers! ye scurvy fools
This is gog, no need for poxy emules


snarky comment in the end
or other piratey tools...
Post edited September 19, 2013 by Khadgar42
yo its g to the og and a "dotcom", play classic games no chain chomp, we dont have what you wont want, come over to the site, itll do you right with games at low price, so type those keys move those mice, heres some gamer insight, I present you the invite, download, get down low its our birthday, party lets celebrate wit magnitude like an earthquake, gamin hard on this, great games zero hassle zero twist, gamers bliss wit a list that dive deep like seven seas, back that thing up like harddrives cuz they drm free, sailin ships for no fee treasure adventure game feel the breeze,and even if you aint got the cheese, they do plenty of sweet deals, no slips no banana peels, no mario kart, but heres 1nsane, offroad rampage, hard games like spelunky, so get ready game junkie, turn your normal calm into sweaty gamer palms, this game intense blow your 4 hearts like bombs, better throw up those ropes like pom poms, finest indie games like rogue legacy,deemed as hard but It didnt get the best of me, but to beat the 5 bosses is my ultimate destiny, full time role player part time dragon slayer, explore dungeons collect the gold, oldies keep you there like a call on hold, dope flow, jrpg septerra core and shogo, mash up smash bros and megaman meets custom robo, spamming sniper arm call it a low blow, megabyte punch eat fist for lunch, we got the latest indies that keep it fresh, and if you a dev you the best, making new games of a lost generation, old school nostalgic preservation and its a gog celebration, so here is a warm welcome to our splendid community, whether your game is made in C++ game maker or unity, feel free to post it on the site, especially if ya game good got bark and bite, gog.com/indie made it plain and simple, pop up that laptop like teenage pimples, wit genre in mind, and seconds of time just use the option "filter by" and youll get your find, wishlist gift or buy, dont judge games by eye, its about experience no lie, beauty not by looks like covers to books, thats my personal inputs, on games and gog, so ready the gamer logs, jump up like frogs, keep it moving like clockwork cogs, if ya agree and feel me, scream it loud declare it proud if you feel one and the same, heres 5 year birthday cheers to good old games!
Here's my entry, done to GOG's beat.

AAAND apparently I can't post any links at this moment, so go to youtube and manually url to watch?v=wAWHm27i7lU

Yes, url is a verb now.

Lyrics are in the video, but to ensure my victory also pasted below.

first there was no-one, then there was you
now there are others, but you're still here too
you still got all those good old games
changed your name yet remained the same
never changed your game, though I remember the shock
when you got out of beta, like what the...?
we can laugh at it NOW since you're truly sorry
some were angry for a while but not to worry
you've got what it takes to pull that kind of stunt
without the fear it turning into a wild hunt
cos you know what? still one of the best
no, THE best, be sure to attest
no bells and whistles, but bells that MATTER
I'd wife your catalogue just to watch it get fatter
it's been five years? could've sworn it was four
Here's looking at you, kid, and for fifty more

Thanks to Flaose for ripping the beat from the GOG.com's video as I was too lazy to do it myself, but stubborn enough not to just board rap.
In terms of digital distribution
Meet the GOG institution
It's DRM free
So let it be
For gaming your solution

Take look at our super wares
Forget about your affairs
And spend some time
It's not a crime
In a gaming room upstairs

You can start with a classic game
I believe you know that name
Baldur's Gate
An easy bait
If RPG is your domain

If TBS for you is right
Then it's Heroes of Magic-Might
One more turn
And you'll earn
Another sleepless night

Phantasmagoria is quite scary
Don't read a madman's diary
Point and click
and make it quick
Your body they may bury

Have a fancy for a shooter?
We'll get you a perfect tutor
A famous Duke
Along with nuke
Will blow up your computer

You think it's just about what's older?
How can we make it bolder?
There are some new
And not just few
Games you can be a holder

Our efforts are not in vain
But if you still complain:
It's not enough
Some hotter stuff
We will release to blow your brain

Sales, contests, gem promotion
They are endless, just like ocean
And nice support
To make it short
And show our true devotion

If you have some time to spare
Then visit our forum where
Some younger lads
And older dads
Have many news for share

In terms of digital distribution
Meet the GOG institution
It's DRM free
So let it be
The sign of a revolution!

It was really fun to write ;) It's not a limerick per se, my English is not good enough to follow the rules completely, but at least the structure is limerick-like ;)
A little rap, a little rhyme, a little poetry
Now stop, look at the time, time for G.O.G
Whats G.O.G. you happen to ask
Well I won’t bask… in the obscurity I’m up to the task
Sit down, listen right, and bring it down slowly
Get this OG on the mike, and spin me a dope beat
It all started 5 years ago, on the internet
People hated drm, and so their interests met
They formed g.o.g to combat DRM
They knew from that point games would never be the same again
They made the prices cheap, the standards steep, their dedication deep
And from this philosophy there was no more D.R.M. Nightmares when they went to sleep

So half a decade of the Good old games
And we never wanna go back to our former shame
We have the cure, we know the cause
D.R.M. Free’s worthy of applause
Three Beautiful letters, all Smashed together
Create a beautiful world, that just got better
In G.O.G quest you cannot die
Even Roberta Williams wouldn’t kill such nice guys

So this is where our story ends
And thus begins the revolution against DRM
Young G.O.G. lived up to everyone of its claims
They’ve built a library, they’ve got over 600 games
They got everything from sierra to Double fine
They built a beautiful world in only 5 years time
So I’ll stop it right there, so I can start savin’ face
But I just wanna give G.O.G. my warmest embrace
Post edited September 19, 2013 by aaronducker
I'm a hobby writer, so I'll give it a try
Five free games is the reason why!
I'm WhiteRakogis, and here's my rap,
I really hope this isn't just crap!

----

GOG.com is number one!
A discerning gamer's source for fun!
Five years now, they've been around,
And visiting them, look at what I found:
Awesome games released years ago
Like Baldur's Gate and UFO!
Syndicate, Zork, Nox, Unreal
Sacrifice, and Shattered Steel!
And not just classics, but games of today
All are there, for you to play
They got the Witcher 2, and 3's coming soon
Alan Wake, Trine, Fez, To The Moon!
And that's just a few, there's a lot more,
Over 600 are in the store!
Plus cool extras, free when you buy
Yes that's right, this is no lie!
Now you see it here, they got a lot,
But it's what they don't have that makes them hot!
It's DRM, and it makes me want to scream
This DRM is the reason I hate Steam
But at GOG, it just isn't there,
And that makes them a lot more fair!
Now, if you don't believe me, stop on by,
Don't you think it's worth a try?
The people there have got real smarts,
Now if they just get the games from LucasArts!
Just in case if you're checking the entries on daily basis instead of going through it all after the deadline, I made a minor edit to my lyrics (post # 139); changed verse:

"be it old gold, newish greats or indie,"

to:

"be it old gold, young greats or indie,"
(my birthday rap submission)

I've got a gog monkey
Riding on my back
Dealing me sales
For the games I lack

You would not know it
From just looking at me
But I got my game on
Thanks to Gee Oh Gee

I Started out browsing
All the Good Old Games
Now I got me a wall
My own Hall of Fame

No more worries
over Dee Are Em
Just can't wait
For the Gee Oh Gee Gee E Em

You say it's your Birthday
You've reached number five
Gee Oh Gee You rock the web
And that ain't no jive
Now we may be just a toddler
But you know we got game
So if you're crying over DRM
You got no one to blame

'Cause we're the little guy
And we fight for your digital right
To have what you buy
And game all the good old day and night.

Yeah, we're G-O-G,
And we set you free,
'Cause we're G-O-G,
With deals you gotta see.

So you say other stores let you play with trading cards,
Well we got a solution and it is not hard.
Just wait until another place's servers are down
Or you cannot redeem a key and it makes you frown.

Go to GOG , get yourself a game,
Play it forever, and if you still feel the same
Listen to a soothing soundtrack, it'll make you feel fine,
And you'll tell those other stores to kiss your behind.
avatar
Ghorpm: It was really fun to write ;) It's not a limerick per se, my English is not good enough to follow the rules completely, but at least the structure is limerick-like ;)
The main critical rules for limericks are:
* the rhyming scheme
* the major beat pattern (3:3:2:2:3 that's actually read with a regularly-spaced 4:4:2:2:4 timing, but with silence where the 4th beat of the long lines would be)
* the minor beat pattern (as triplets, where present)
Most the rest of the "rules" you'll find are just to make it easier on readers, but IMO limericks are kind of a shared artform -- both the writer and the reader take part. The reader has to make the beats happen as described above. The writer can make that task super easy by sticking to very formulaic syllable counts (and avoiding "minor" words on major beats), but that's not necessary and sometimes not desirable (e.g, when such would interfere with the message being delivered).

As an example of how the reader takes part in making a limerick work, I have marked up your first stanza with the following:

beat: major beat goes on this syllable
<somestuff>: say "somestuff" quickly so it just uses up only a single minor beat
---: skip/rest for a minor beat

In terms of <digi>tal distribution
Meet --- the GOG institution
It's DRM free
So let it be
For gaming --- your --- solution

One should be able run a triplet-playing metronome (TICK-tick-tick-TICK-tick-tick-TICK-tick-tick-...) through a whole limerick, with all of the major limerick beats coinciding with the major metronome beats (TICK), the minor limerick beats corresponding with the minor metronome beats (tick), and with the metronome beating by itself at the end of each long limerick line (there's no 4th major beat in the limerick line) and anyplace where minor beats are not "used up" by the limerick. Reading yours with a proper limerick rhythm might be a little trickier than some, but it's completely doable.

edit:

Just as an example of the "art of reading limericks" (and not as a suggestion to change anything), the two trickiest lines to make work when reading your entry are probably these ones:

Phantasmagoria is --- quite scary

You think it's just <about> what's older?

The first is tricky because you "have to" (to avoid having the major beat on a weak syllable like "ma" or "a") use three lead-in beats which technically places the first such (minor) beat on the 4th major metronome beat of the previous line, which is actually OK (as that's an "off" beat anyways) -- the reader just has to be on the ball and not be late with getting that line started. (IMO, it sounds pretty good when read this way.)

The second is tricky because if you're just sight-reading the tendency is (or at least my tendency was) to put the first major beat on "think", but then when you get to "about" you find you've painted yourself into a corner because putting the major beat on the "a" in "about" doesn't really work well -- cramming "about" into a single minor beat and shifting the major beats forward one syllable I think works better here (though there are other solutions too -- e.g., the above solution could be changed to put the first major beat on "think" instead of "You", and then insert a one-minor-beat rest after "think" to keep the subsequent major beats from shifting and thereby still avoid the "about" issue). Of course, it's fairly subjective, and maybe someone would actually prefer to go with "about" -- not that I would ever respect such a person. :-P
Post edited September 19, 2013 by TheJadedOne
Long Live the Dream

So many games are forgotten in the mist of time
One should not let them fade away, they're so sublime
And they'd better not be left only to memories
We live in the present, we should relive our stories

GOG brings back the past and the present
A DRM-Free revolution is born independent
No more chains of DRM, incompatibility or regional pricing
The new world of games is finally appearing

From the Zork Anthology to the Megabyte Punch
A flood of gems, a flood of dreams launch
And as a humble gamer living in a sunbeam
All I can say, happy birthday GOG, long live the dream
Here are my sweet rhymes for the rap contest.

G-O-G on the scene for five years and countin'.
We doin' the impossible and bringin' you the mountain.
We got a clear vision,
Delivered with precision.
So step right up and bring your cup and drink from the fountain.

'Cause we bringin' what we got to every mother flippin' nation.
We takin' DRM straight outta the equation.
We sittin' on the top.
No, we never gonna stop.
Yeah, this five-year-old is stayin' in the fight for the duration.

G-O-G. We are the new reality.
G-O-G. We settin' all the prisoners free.
G-O-G. So bring the whole family.
And come on over for a cup of enigmatic tea.
I apologize for unleashing this atrocity upon the world but here we go...
GOG, GOG, all their games are DRM free,
They are always nice to me
and they help the world to see what games can really be
They have classics in their jackets and indie in their shoes
They helped me and many other to play classic that we otherwise would have ignored
they work hard to get rights to sell *Good *Old *Games
Unlike the bores at the other games stores
No Names!
I wish you a happy birthday and I hope for many more
Yeah, I wish a happy birthday to my favorite game store!
OG Gog is my homeboy,
Pulls the right strings,
Knows the rules of the game

No key can restrain him,
Time is on his side
For a classic game joyride

Gotta join the revolution
Or die trying,
Gang of gamers for the win!
Sad times, if this wasn't crunch time I would have to lay down some ill beats.