Are you implying that polarization can't be counteracted?

Relevant thought:

I really wish more people were curious about the world in general, and were willing to ask questions about everything and show a willingness to learn; there are way too many instances where people are unwilling to learn about things unfamiliar to them, and way too many cases where it would start an argument.

It really is a shame that so many people lose their curiosity when they grow up.

I think the difference between a modern discussion that just leads to ranting and screaming, and a civilized discussion where both participants listen and understand one another is very simple.

If you go into a discussion trying to convince someone of something, the discussion is not worth having - you'll end up in a fight before you know it. Nobody wants to admit they are wrong, and trying to shove something down someone's throat (even if it is a scientific fact you're trying to convince someone of) is rarely (if ever) going to work.

Modern discussions are just people exchanging their practiced speeches, and instead of listening to another person's speech, you only think about your own speech and how you're going to deliver it once they're done.

The point of a discussion is exploring a topic with a group of other individuals, and I think that in a civilized discussion the lines between one side of an argument and the other become blurred. Everyone is just kind of lost in a forest of ideas and tries to find a way out with the other person; you just put your heads together.

There are a million moods of discussions people can have, a million different topics, and a million personalities who can participate with a million different life experiences and perspectives.

My suggestion, if you want to have a certain type of discussion, spell out exactly what you want at the very start. This is just a simple example:

"I would like this to be a civilized discussion. That means making only serious points that you can support with evidence when asked, not parroting uninformed memes that you heard somewhere. Research your own points before sharing, double check your information and sources, and of course, thoroughly read anything other people share. If someone says something that seems insulting or insensitive, assume that you've misunderstood their point, so politely ask for clarification. If indeed a person did say something rude, do not be rude back. Either continue to talk with them politely, or stop posting with them altogether. Most of all.. listen. Discussions aren't about converting people to your side or winning points or pwning dudes... they're about increasing your understanding of issues, and enlightening people who know less than you. Imagine some posters know more than you and some know less, but you'll never be sure who is who. Post accordingly."

Perhaps that sounds pompous, but the point is to set the tone for your discussion before you begin. That should go a long way towards having a conversation you want. I remember one site actually had two subforums, a "casual" and "serious" one, where posting in each already presumed a certain tone.

If you just start a thread somewhere and ask ANYONE to post, you're going to get a mishmash of serious and casual posters, mature people and trolls, old and young, smart and stupid. That hodgepodge is a good way to get a conversation that fails and/or goes down in flames. Set the tone at the start and you should get much more fruitful conversations..

I did that once on this forum and people said I can't tell people how to post.
The thread was full of simple shit-postings to no one's surprise.

Come join us at the Civilization forum and have lots of civilized discussions!

OK, just kidding (maybe?). Back on topic, possibly a more light-hearted offtopic forum would help.

The link doesn't work.

Edit: Link was fixed after I posted this comment.

It should work now! (Copying and pasting on mobile...) Anyway it's just GOG's subforum, nothing fancy. ;)

It's not negative at all to realistically assess things at face value. In order to reach a compromise you will, in most cases, have to give up something which represents a benefit to you. The same can be said regarding the other party. If both sides in a conflict assume a "positive" attitude and expect everything to work out in their own terms that usually gets them nowhere.

the whole sjw thing is a nice hobby I guess. people throw around this term, sjw, like it means somebody. it doesn't. sjw is a term to describe a giant movement. and people parade around in that movement when they're bored or working some angle or something. it doesn't matter what side they're on. the very real moral, social, human, and psychological things that form part of the fuel for the SJW floats that the various teams parade around on are best dealt with outside the frame of this sjw movement. there are older, deeper issues at the root of many these things. baser societal and social issues that should be tackled in different ways then having some intellectualist arguments by the rules of the sjw boardgame.

I generally don't really argue on the internet any more. haven't for a while. I say my bit and that's that. I read what others say back, if I feel I have something to add, I do, if not, I don't bother trying to disseminate and pick apart whatever it is they're saying. and I guess I don't really see the point in trying to be conversational or placating or whatever. so on a sidenote if you had an exchange with me before and I went quiet, hope you didn't think I was ignoring you or gone hostile. I just didn't have anything else meaningful to say to it. at least not any idea well formed enough that I wanted to commit to it.

If both parties end up gaining more than what was given up, how is that agreement not mutually beneficial?

Bear in mind that something wanted is an egg that hasn't been laid, much less hatched, and should be valued accordingly.

General friendliness goes a long way towards getting people to open up and engage each other sincerely. That's not the same as being polite though, as you can be polite all you like but when what you're saying has despicable implications you're still a scumbag. Kicking those out is for the best since they do nothing but make everything shitty.

HAHAHAHA.

I triggered a snowflake and they down voted a bunch of my posts, including in here, even though every thing in my previous post had a link or several links all sourced properly and sourced directly.

As I said in the earlier post, facts trigger and offend snowflakes, this is why you can't have a civilized discussion.

Not really. Going on insane rants about one side and yelling "IT'S THEM! THEY'RE THE CAUSE OF THE DEGRADATION OF ALL OUR DISCUSSIONS!", dropping obvious bait while using cherrypicked examples and turning the blinders on your own bias, calling everyone of a certain political nature "triggered snowflakes" is an example of why civilized discussion is hard to have.