tinyE: The Shit List
That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on
the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.
The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there
is nothing on the toilet paper.
Second Wave Shit:
It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up
to your knees, and you realize that you have to shit some more.
Brain Hemorrhage Shit:
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " shit. The kind
where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have
Richard Simmons Shit:
The kind that you shit so much that you lose 30 pounds
Lincoln Log shit:
The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the
toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet
That is the kind of shit that you have the morning after a long
night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the tread marks
left on the bottom of the toilet .
"Gee I wish I could shit" shit:
Its the kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is
sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Shit:
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear
it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Shit:
Also known as "The Power dump" that's the kind that comes out of
your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the
The Power Blast:
A shit that is expelled by a fart that is right behind it. This
kind makes a lot of noise and soaks everything within a three
feet radius of the bowl.
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your
butt, splashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the
same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
Mexican Food Shit:
A class all its own
the Crowd Pleaser:
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you
have to show it to someone.
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby
allowing you to be your old self again.
This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished
with the aid of a newspaper
Guiness Book of Records Shit:
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations
The aftershock shit:
This shit has an odour so powerful that anyone entering the
vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.
The Honeymoons over shit:
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to
resurface after many flushes
A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to
engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only
solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit
putting it there
Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with
you. Requires patience and muscle control
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either
inappropriate to shit (i.e. during love making or a root canal)
or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a
frightening position - usually harmless
This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any
competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close
resemblance to the Drinkers shit.
You just think you're king shit don't you..