I may just have sacrificed two friendships. Two of my closest friends had some sick masochistic relationship and I was always the one in the middle, I always got to hear all the crap they were too afraid to tell each other. For more than a year whenever they saw each other they'd get all romantic and occasionally make out but after that they wouldn't do anything about it except complaining to me that they don't know where they are, how the other one wouldn't make a serious step or something. Then the girl left the country for almost a year with a few breaks, yesterday we all celebrated her return, a few hours in they started making out. I care about both of them and I knew that without me doing something about it it would once again end in total crap. Then another guy (also a very close friend of my buddy) told me that my bro doesn't want this to go anywhere so I decided to talk to him, especially since I know how much he had hurt her in the past. So I asked him what he expects from this and indeed, for him it was just about having fun, he claimed that he had put things straight with her but of course he hadn't because he's an immature insecure sissy. I told him that she's looking for something serious and even if she pretends that she can do this stuff just for fun that's not the case, that each time they do this she ends up being devastated and that no matter what she says, she will hope they are gonna end up in a serious relationship. He just replied that she's a grownup, can deal with it etc. and that I shouldn't stick my nose in this, that it doesn't concern me. Hell, yes it does - it's like they are having all the fun and I'm the one having the serious relationship, having all the serious talks with both sides. So I eventually told her that she shouldn't do that anymore because it won't lead anywhere, that I know for a fact that he doesn't want things to get serious. She almost started crying, then she remained silent.
Of course - again- she started making out with him a few minutes later, completely in denial of what I just had said, even more intensely as if she wanted to prove me wrong or just do her best to win him over. Later she announced that she would call me the next day and talk to me about it - like always. And in my experience the talks she has with me in that vulnerable state attract her to me, she has already made moves on me in these situations in the past, willing to harm the relationship I'm in (a serious, mature and healthy one, unlike their shit). When we stood in line for some fast food I heard her whispering to her female friend, that she actually has a good feeling about this. I told myself "enough of this shit", pushed them together and almost yelled at them that they have to clarify this shit right now, that I'm sick and tired of this crap, of being the guy in the middle and then I left. He ran after me, I yelled some stuff at him, then I told her not to call me about this shit and left the group.
Now I not only feel awful for having ruined the evening (well, at least the end of it) but can't possibly imagine that either one of them is gonna forgive me. In their eyes I certainly have changed forever, they won't trust me anymore. I'm not gonna be the guy they call just for a beer or coffee to have a nice talk, I'm not gonna be the supportive understanding intimate friend anymore whom they can always call when they are having a hard time and neither are they gonna be the people whom I can tell anything. The only question is whether my little act worked, whether they finally will end up together or stop hurting each other and themselves. I'm kinda impatiently waiting for some input, a message from them or something while I know exactly that I'm not gonna get one - it's kinda eating me alive. Plus the hangover is killing me. <.<
Post edited May 10, 2013 by F4LL0UT