Because the others are so much afraid of getting rejected by you, if they made the first move?

You know that thing when you're kind of tired to begin with and are trying to study math, but don't get how to get from A to B in an equation like "A = B", and keep staring at it, wondering about it, double checking what you've already read, until you're a mess that just can't take it anymore, and you start screaming at the sky, and renounce your faith in the typing skills of the writer of the materials, and curse all the typos, especially the ones in definitions. Consequently in your sadness you start staring at by-passers through your window, with a smile full of sadness, as you wonder what you're going to do with the knowledge held in the equation after you figure it out, and can't really think of anything, but still need to understand it so you may face your professors after the exams, and proudly announce that at one point you really understood how the polynomial algebras are constructed to fit with the rest of whatever algebras and linear functions that greater mathematicians decided to throw in the mess that is university math, only for you to forget when studying for the next exam. Finally you break down and become a hopeless mess that can only wade through page after another of forum discussion in hopes of finding some shallow form of self forgiveness into your dim, hopeless caverns of a mind, and all because of that one equation that eluded you..

Well, anyway, I've never really went through that, but there's this damn equation that I don't get, and I know it's really simple but I'm just somehow blocking it, and I'm not going to show it to anyone because they'd look at me funny and say something like "dude.. dude.. that's... commutative, it's so simple, why didn't you get it" and then I'd be like really embarrassed.

/edit: Hahahaa, I got it! Finally! Forget you, despair! I'm going to math town!

Lol, 300 level math classes (that'd be third year, degree track math in the US)?

No idea what that means, but this is my fourth year in university studying math. The class I'm studying for now is a laudatur level class (to my understanding that means the course is "Advanced"), but not all that difficult in the end (there's text between the theorems and lemmas in the materials! heavenly!). The guy who wrote the materials made a lot of typos, though. Making sure the students are paying attention :p

Sounds a bit harder than what I had to do, Comp Sci required a mandatory minor in Mathematics, but minors are relatively easy (I hated Linear Algebra, but my other classes were pleasant enough).

This course happens to be Linear Algebra. Fortunately I like it. :p
Some Analysis classes had materials that make your eyes bleed and soul scream. Never again.

WARNING: Rambling, illogical, unreasonable bitterness to follow

Research papers. I hate them. In fact, I hate academia to begin with (or rather have learned to hate it after 4 years of college), and research papers are the pointlessly nitpicky worst parts of academia all shoved together into one. What's worse, I'm not just a senior in college, but in fact a super senior. One semester over deadline. And this is when I decided to take English 102. Yeah, I'm smart. So not only is it horribly irritating, it's horribly irritating 4 years too late, since I'm sure as hell not going to be needing to know this in my career as a piano technician. In fact, that goes for college in general. I may feel differently in the future, but as of now I see it as a gigantic waste of my time and money, since I'm not going to be using my degree to do jack. Not only that, college managed to sabotage my love of the very thing I wanted to do as a living--music. I don't know if I'm ever going to pick up the violin again after college. I used to love it, now it's a chore. That's 18 years of work down the drain right there. Yes, 18 years. And it will take a miracle for anything to ever become of the compositions I've put so much heart into, seeing as I won't be in any position to have them performed by anyone, least of all myself. And besides which, everyone is too busy heaping money on Niki Minaj to give a passing glance to those of us who actually work on our music. Goodbye childhood dreams! It's been nice knowing you! Seriously, I'm sick of college. I'm sick of the college society, and society in general. I'm sick of it expecting me to be something I'm not. I'm sick of disappointing people because I'm not a goody two shoes A+ student who conforms to a predetermined mold of learning. I'm sick sick SICK of feeling like any skills I have are useless and worthless, and of never having my ideas or work respected. and I'm sick of not knowing who I am. Am I a musician? A composer? A writer? A game designer? A reviewer? Someone who has anything of worth to say to anyone? Will I ever make any mark on history? Be respected by those that I respect? By the artistic communities I yearn to be a part of? The older I get, the less optimistic I am. The more likely it seems that everything I do will come to nothing. Nobody will know what I've said, what I've created, what I've pondered over... I'll just be one of the nameless thousand of artistic failures that the history books don't bother to mention. All the things I've created will simply cease to exist, appreciated by nobody. A nonevent in art.

So yeah. I hate research papers.

Then again, at least I'm not doing literature analysis, because I seriously won't put up with that pretentious bullshit ever again. Ever.




It feels good to get some rage out of my system every once in awhile. Now I'm going to go write more 'Monkey Aladdin' (oh, you know you want to read it. You know you do.)

*sigh*

Surgery tomorrow. Again. I hate surgery, since I find it hard to shake off the anesthetic and they seem to insist on giving me morphine for the pain even though it makes me want to puke. Oh well, the bright side is hopefully this time it will fix the hernia once and for all. As well, I get to sit around and read, game, and watch movies for a few days afterward.

Still, I hate surgery. Hate it.

Don't know you, but best of luck friend.

Thanks you. I really do appreciate the well wishes. :)

I second that :D

I wish u the speediest recovery possible Coelocanth, with as much rest and gaming as you desire, to keep your spirits up :D

get well soon, wish you good health

Get well.

@jefequeso: I understand what you mean. I just got back into reading for fun because of high school.

well GRRRRRRRR & ****in GRRRRRRRRRRRR i feeling really low and i have no ******* idea why - some days i just hate me ******* head - wish i had a spare.

thanks for the rant.

Stupid cat starts biting through cables. I swear if this behavior persists the damn animal will be back in the "animal home" (is it called that?) in no time...