Think I may try re-seating the CPU, even though doing so requires removing the cooler (which was the most annoying part to install); if that doesn't work, I may try taking it to a repair shop.

(I took a break from trying to get the computer to work.)

(In the meantime, I started playing Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous on my small laptop. I do not intend to keep this playthrough; it's just for getting a feel for the game and seeing how the (Unsworn) Shaman's Wandering Hex/Spirit work.)

did you buy it off ebay or something? if so - send it back!

No, I built it myself.

I meant the components

I believe they were mainly bought from Amazon and Newegg, with the RAM being bought in person from Best Buy.

Every part was new.

(Well, the storage device is older than the rest of the system, but it hasn't been used before.)

Surely then those parts are under warranty / a returns window. I'd suggest that over a repairs shop.

Its my birthday. I've been rudely awakened rather too early. Cant get back to sleep. Everything has gone downhill from there.

Gagh!

Well, happy birthday to our feces flinging forum chimp, then. :)

Update:

Took the CPU out and put it back in. Still no video output, but now pressing the power button after turning it on turns it off immediately (instead of having to hold it down for 3 seconds to turn it off).

CPU cooler is in place, but not firmly screwed in because it's a lot of work, and would rather try to get the computer working before I do that.

Noooo!!! Please tell me I am not reading what you wrote!!

Personal experience: CPU cooler always must be firmly screwed (thermal paste included, if apply) before turn on even for a second the PC. No matter how complex, tiring and tightened the whole thing is.
No kidding: I witnessed CPUs burned in a blink thanks to heat.
Sure... that was decades ago before multiple BIOS & Hardware temp controls being implemented to avoid such spectacular disasters, but even then with those in place I can also tell you about CPUs that never got their best performance after innocent instants without the cooler... or totally strange hiccups never explained...

About your whole issue: Get spare parts proven to work fine (aka other working PC around) and make a controlled exchange among them.
Not possible? Then get borrowed what you can.
Yet Impossible? Then go ahead to some specialist shop as they have and that is in part what you will pay for (sort of speak)
Once the guilty is found, return, if applies (raw honesty about mishandling)

Another basic: Be very careful about static. (Wristband)

No place in UEFI to change the amount of RAM dedicated to the integrated graphics. Not amused when the graphics is fairly capable and the laptop has unusual high RAM bandwidth for such a cheap model. Runs several games nicely except awful stutters since 128MiB of VRAM is just too little.

My "big" laptop (AMD 3500U, 8GB RAM) has that issue, except that the amount of VRAM is 2GB, which is not ideal if not gaming.

I should maybe spend more time trying to be creative and less time browsing around suckage media.

So a year back GOG enabling verified by Visa feature so I can finally used my own debit card to pay for my games here. No longer camping on giveaway threads or shamelessly spamming the gifting threads.

And today when I try to fill my GOG wallet it seems that feature no longer working for me.

I'm not complaining about regional pricing. I just wanted to buy Mad Max and Wasteland Remastered on my own on the last hours of sale. Or any games from my wishlist in the future. Is it too much to ask?

Forgot my coffee flask on my desk at work :'( Now I can't take 3 cups worth of my 'specially brewed' coffee to work tomorrow.