EVERY ONE OF MY FuCKING ROCK STATIONS HAS GONE TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!!

Some battles are unavoidably lost, but at least you want them to be lost "despite of you" instead of "because of you".

I am so overly frustrated about myself to the point of almost pure self-loathing and hate.

I thought getting out of my unemployment to begin my masters studies in different city would've helped me to become a person as I wanted to be? Turns out, not and it feels like sum of things which has worn me over.

Real edit: turns out the character limitations are harsher here what I expected. Figures.

Which is definitely not helping with the becoming the person you want to be. But also, moving to a new town or getting that new job doesn't just make a new person out of the blue. The absurd thing is, accepting and loving yourself is that all important first step, as difficult as it now seems to be. :(

Good luck!


Here. Have a treat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOOaH6BAwvY

Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys.
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed.

Aye, I acknowledge that (thanks to self awareness). That's why I am trying to get a time to talk professionally about it via uni system.

My original post was long and dread-y about the mistakes and failures, which is more damning because I *want* to change. It just gets buried under of weird mix of things.

But it's not all doom 'n' gloom; people over uni are cool and I like to hang with them. And the new city is better than the old one. But don't tell that to my old friends.

Anyway, thank you for your concern. I know I am fucked and that's why I try to get professional help to solve "why".

People move countries. It happens a lot. And we're talking about a country that has a high rate of migration.

It seems like the last few weeks has been full of people meeting me and making a deal out of my foreign accent and asking all the questions. This is somewhat hilarious to me because I've literally met random fellow Americans through Freecycle and just walking around the hospital grounds here. Or vice versa online where people are shocked I'm not British; funnily enough this happened in another community when they watched one of my stream videos but the Santa thread reminded me of it.

I didn't realize how much people asking a lot of questions bothered me and made me feel even less like I fit in, until the Thanksgiving dinner where it really hit me hard. I've been here long enough (years) I feel like I want to move beyond that. And the dinner itself was... just.

The restaurant ran out of turkey at the buffet by the time we got there and thought chicken would suffice, without stuffing, so that was a big disappointment. AND THEY HAD NO PUMPKIN PIE. Despite, y'know, the online booking page having a large picture of a piece of pie on it implying they'd have some there because what's more Thanksgiving than pie? But they had none. Not even apple, just a lot of cupcakes, a "pumpkin cupcake" that was more like gingerbread, and a cheesecake that was more crumb base than cheesecake. The orange chocolate cream cookie thing was pretty good though. I wound up eating brisket which was tough, a five bean salad I didn't realize had red onion which I'm allergic to in it despite this place labeling everything like crazy, the gloppiest taco I ever had, and some really disappointing sushi (this thing was a giant mound of tasteless watery rice with a smidge of avocado and maybe some crab meat but I didn't taste any.) They didn't even do the deviled eggs and buffalo wings justice.

The hilarious part is this was a 5 star resort that adds gratuity automatically for a self serve buffet.

I'm glad I got to see some of the fellas but... all in all disappointing and darn, I want to go see my sister, and pig out on some pizza rolls and root beer and proper buffalo wings.

Not to mention living abroad is a giant pain in the rear in regards to gaming.

Why is that?

Do you want the short version or the essay version of why region locking sucks?

Welp, just edited my half rant/whining-message.

Pay no attention, I'm just passing by. Having my brain is already enough bitching =)

I'm sorry you're having a rough time at the moment, and I regret that my question as to the status of Thanksgiving in the UK may have precipitated this depressive feeling.

It isn't anyone from that thread at all, this just has been a long time in building. It's just funny to me. What gets me is the British for all the cosmopolitanism of the country seem surprised with me. Holidays tend to be the worst.

You didn't bring your Action Replay.

I think I'm gonna go to my doctor and tell him to check those C-Scan results again. Don't come back until he finds something! :D

No, I brought my American gear because like hel I'm going to shell out another several hundred bucks for another console, but ARs won't help with my friend gifting me a Dead Island Definitive Edition code and I can't redeem it in Steam.