Whatever did i ever even do, to always draw in the spite, hatred and downright offense, of everybody crossing my way, especially those i loved and helped a great deal, at the expense of my own interests and gain? My ex from the summer, who even proposed me a romantic trip abroad together, suddenly sent me an email today, just out of the blue, supposedly asking for me and my good health as well as to learn my news... After betraying me, "attacking" me and telling me to drop dead, few months back.
Thankfully, my inner resources and self-work/progress made me able to withstand any stab, emotional pain or humane/mundane matters in general, but i still cannot get used to hypocrisy, it always "poisons" me to the core without fail. Why cannot humans be... Humane, once, for a change? Why do they have to return only to chew your remaining "pieces" and give you the final blow? I... I have no words.
I should call her many names, but alas, i instead accepted her message and responded back, showing interest for her, as well, on the contrary, mine being genuine, or course, at that. I want to hit myself for being so stupidly kind, to all the wrong people, too. Damn. Not even doing "evil" deeds can change my inner softcore idiot into a senseless animal, like i would like, for the sake of me to finally stop feeling the pain of others' injustices against me. Sh_t. Now what to do with her? I am afraid i would rush flying to her, should she ask me to see me again... Sh_t.