Helping others whenever, however you can even when it gets to the point of tiring and hurting you is not being a good friend or a decent person, it's a mental issue.Been like this since i was a kid, i recently started to understand it.A girl friend of mine, she has a hard life.Real hard life.An autistic brother, terrible parents, sexual abuse as a kid, even though she's a soul who seeks freedom at all costs, she can't trust others with her brother who she cares about more than herself.She knows that she can never be truly free.I attempted to help her about it, even tried to atleast make the effects of trauma a bit worst by giving therapy sessions (I'm in no way a professional.But since she no longer trusts psychiatrists, i'm the closest thing to that she's willing to hear out, been researching stuff for a long time).Did it work? Well, kinda.The effects are worst sure but there are loads of unsolved issues.I've been trying to help her for like a year, and not once in my life have i ever had this much trouble.It's hard.I feel like i failed and i'm even afraid that i can make it worst..But you know, these days i feel like giving up, because my whole life, i had no reason to live.I was fond of philosophy since i was a kid and i guess it didn't do me much good.Now it feels like since i lived for others my whole life there has never been a "me".I feel like a slave to humanity and i have no right to be a person.Of course i know this is not right, but i guess it's similiar to chains of religion.People who grew up with religion have a hard time deaing with it, now even though i know this "feeling" of mine is wrong i can't get rid of it.Been depressed for 3 years and suicidal for 6 months, i feel even more guilty when people with far lower life quality standarts than me do everything they can to live, to survive.But i guess it's different.
Remember people, humans are social in nature only because it's beneficial to our survival.If it gets to the point of making it harder for you to survive, don't do it.
I wish I read this sooner; I'm sorry to hear about your troubles! Even though you're doubting yourself, I think it's wonderful that you tried helping your friend. Sometimes every little bit of compassion and friendship matters. You seem like a decent human being, so I encourage you to recognize the goodness within yourself. Be careful not to neglect your own well-being, but please continue to show kindness and concern to others. This broken world really needs help, and even you can make a difference. Take care!