Elmofongo: Is playing the UK in Empire Total War pretty much gives you the most OP Battleships?

Sachys: No its shit. But then Empire is totally shit too.

Elmofongo: I just like the style of Warfare Empire offers.

I want to command naval fleets and see 2 ships exchanging cannon fire and see the little soldiers and sailors board each other's ships.

I want to form Riflemen Firing Lines shooting at a charging calvary.

Sachys: be better wtaching a film - its REALLY fucking dull!

Also, see the edit!

Sachys: Yes:

1: Empire and Napoleon are pretty dull combat wise, but have an improved diplomacy system (among some other things)
2: Start MTW2 as England - they're pretty good all rounders and will be able to field some really good mercenary units for crusades etc. They will also be able to teach you the importance of spears / cavalry / bows in the game (from varying angles).
3: Early on invade wales - you can leave Scotland for a bit, but not too long as they have a habit of storming York with ridiculous levels of troops (ironic that I'm posting this) - if you want to leave them and go diplomatic with them for a while, change York into a castle instead of a town (should have been a castle to begin with really, historically).
4: Produce a bunch of diplomats and send them onto the European mainland. As theres a FOW, you might want to reference a map and send one or more in the vague directions of Russia, Italy (and make sure you leave at least one next to Rome to appease the Poop... er... Pope!), Another beyond Italy and two down through France, Spain and North Africa.
5: As England, make sure you beef up the seafaring potential gradually (later you can go to the Americas).
6: Regarding the poopularity with the Pope - all factions are vying for power at all times, they WILL betray you. its a good idea to keep giginv gifts of map data to the pope (hence the diplomats travelling all over), and getting high enough on his radar you can launch an early crusade against (most likely) Milan - just the other side of france, lots of money, gets you a seat near the pope and some great crusade mercenray nutters in the area.
7: get low enough with the pope, you'll get excommuncated and might get a crusade against you.
8: on the campaign map (which is more civilisation-like), do NOT focus all your attention on one area - you might lose more than you think.

...I think thats what you should know without spoilers / ruining the game.

Edit: dammit... might have to reinstall now...

Sachys: try playing as Hungary or Byzantine - good challenge and lots of good, varied battles.Sachys: You sayin I look like a willy pawl?!

darthspudius: Aye, a fuckin weegie willy ya bam!

monkeydelarge: I played Medieval 2 for many years like there was no tomorrow and I agree with everything you've said. You know your Medieval 2. And he shouldn't wait too long to conquer Scotland or a chimp will gather an army of Scotsman, do a orbital fecal bombardment against his army and take his lands. :P Sachys is Chimpheart. FREEEEDOOOM!!! Every chimp throws feces, not every chimp really lives.

Sachys: *points

Why are ye wearin tha' gashbucket oan yer heed?
Sachys: O___________________________________o

Now, a Planet of the Apes mod... that could be good - but would surely work better in Warband!

darthspudius: coz yer ma told me too. feckin horrid wee cunt!

Sachys: I blame the fuckbast!

Plus, shes your problem now - you bought her for a bag of magic beans. No refunds!

darthspudius: I'll give you some buckie and a baby haggis to take her back. I've got an itch under ma kilt!

Sachys: Narp!

It'll cost you all of Lindisfarne and your stake in the Arbroath smokies cartel!

darthspudius: I'd never give away the smokies. You can have my share of Peterhead... and the wife.

Sachys: Already got them - you had to default on our destiny stone flinging contest last week and that was your stake, remember?

darthspudius: Bloody whisky! Fine you can have Scotland's grown jewels, assuming you'd go under ma kilt to get them!