mqstout: many olderfolk do have considerable negative associations (or even trauma) with the word "queer" from before it was reclaimed, sadly.
Related tale (hopefully of some amusement and insight).
Worked in a gay bar for a while. Great place aside from one or two staff members I got stuck with.
A lot of the older folk didn't like the term queer for the same kind of reasoning you mentioned.
That all stopped one day when the bouncer was overwhelmed at the door by a gang of football fans on their way home from an away game (there was at least ten) chanting "we'll queer stomp you and yer missus!" (or something along those lines).
Couple of the younger fellas (who preferred the term queer) marched out and kicked hell into them because they knew the police wouldn't turn up (this was the 1990s).
When done they declared "Well now you all know what it means to be queer-stomped! Do not return here..."
The older folk who disliked the term queer had a new appreciation of it after that and the pub didnt see any trouble from any firms until it turned into a rock bar and venue I also worked at years later.
Funnily enough the same kind of situation had a similar outcome once more.