^ A biographer who prays that he can learn how to write.

^ crotchety old curmudgeon

^ Prefers to eat strudel to an exhausting workout.

Your allegations are supposed to be baseless!

Boris knows you're also supposed to say them, but can't resist a good rule broken.

^ He knows that "He who makes the rules may break the rules."

^ He who smelt it dealt it, but then everyone else smelt it as well, without having dealt it.

^ He who felt it, smelt it.

^ The "guilty dog" barks first.

^ inspired by his favorite actor (and longtime mancrush), Ashton Kutcher, he has recently quitted taking showers altogether. He feels great but wonders why everyone wants to stay away from him lately.

^ Ignore however many games are shown on his GOG profile. When he wants to play a game, he always gets out the Atari 2600.

^ Prefers Apple Pippin.

^ Knew that I would edit my ninja'd post but is going to pretend to be surprised.

^ Regularly gets ninja'd by turtles.