^ Stole this story from Cindarella

^ cut his feet on glass slippers at midnight

^ dresses like Methuselah in order to jump in the vaccine line.

^ Disrespects elders by doubting their age just because their fake beards slip off.

^ Ages backwards like Benjamin Button, but ironically, never wears clothes with buttons.

Dresses like Buttons (the clown) on his days off, but wears the entire costume on backwards...

^ Has a phobia of nightmares.

^ has an evil spirit in his bathroom mirror

^installs one way bathroom mirrors and puts premium rate webcams behind them all

^ has the best ideas... I wonder where he comes up with them

^ has never told his real name, Johannes Zoff. His German friends calls him Hans Zoff. He grew fond of hands-off approach to many things, including when driving, whether a car or a motorbike.

^ Heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another ...

^ you'd been messing around

^ You're just a mess!

^ He thinks he's the mess (sigh) ya.