^ International yodeling champion

^ is an experienced chicken census enumerator. He likes to count his eggs, so he knows how many chickens he will have accurately.

^ He counts his chickens before the eggs are hatched.

^ He puts all of his eggs in one basket... before throwing them at a house.

He bought up all of the toilet paper supply available globally back in March and has been TP'ing houses every night since.

Sits on the toilet since march waiting calmly for a new toilet paper roll.

dammit, ninjad...

^ Transfered his real life toilet paper packing ninja skills to an online skill. Like Shodan in reverse and less useful...

Yet again, he does not see me lurking, ready to apply my advanced Ninjutsu techniques.

Goes to the mall and shouts "Hooyaah!" at random people and also works at a gas station where (insert preferred pronoun) tells people too young to buy liquor: "You Shall Not Pass!" when they try to fool (insert preferred pronoun) with fake IDs.

^ controls many online people's CPU cores to do all the processing for his personal benefits.

^ Inserts his preferred pronoun into oldgamebuff while they're doing sexy time activities.

^ His "preferred pronoun" lacks sufficient perkiness for insertion into a gerund phrase.

^ His preferred prepositions are convoluted and only tenuously imply esoteric relationships between various objects.

^ Someone once said that he was a "sly devil." They were wrong. He isn't sly.

^ Someone once confused him for Sly Cooper, but of course that person was blind.