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^ He has something like that, but will never share it with HeresMyAccount.

EDIT: For Posterity

HeresMyAccount: ^ His intellect in imbued by a computer chip that tells him what to think, and keeps him from slipping back into the coma.
^ He apparently chose the blue pill. (Thankfully, ladies, I do not mean the one for erectile dysfunction.)
Post edited December 11, 2022 by Hooyaah
^collects other people's parking tickets and uses them to stuff the walls of his house.
^ Collects other people's houses and hopes they won't notice.

^ Hooyaah keeps repeatedly accusing me of being stupid and/or naive, despite my IQ being well within the genius range (I'm not showing off, but I have to defend myself against this constant libel), because he has no more original insults. Try telling people that I clip my toenails with my teeth. Or say something about my mother; yo mamma jokes are always fun (or am I thinking of Yo-Yo Mah jokes?).
^ He is, perhaps, a worthy Chess opponent.
^ Thinks he's clever by equating HMA's intelligence to a chess-playing computer.
^ He viewed the video of me defeating a computer at Chess.
^ Was playing on Very Easy.
^ He noticed that the match had been set to the highest level of difficultly; then he saw me win with a Queen sacrifice.

EDIT: (The game was set at 2,300 - 2,350)
Post edited December 12, 2022 by Hooyaah
^ has always felt that the King and Queen roles should be switched for historical accuracy.
He knows that she's a Killer Queen.
^ Defeated the chess computer by smashing it with a hammer.
^ defeated a stone golem by wrapping it in a gigantic size paper towel.
^ kept that roll of paper towels on his lance
^ Defeated the paper towel with a giant scissor while wearing a talking miniskirt.
^ He had way too much genuine maple waffle syrup this morning.