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^ He wouldn't know a lance if it poked him in the behind.
^ considers roadkill as street food.
^ Makes popular "street food" from recent road kill and vends it from a cart down on Seaside Blvd.
^ Sells sea shells by the sea shore.
^ He has no idea that the little girl who that tongue twister is about actually found a fossil worth millions in today's money.
^ knows that Texas Fried Chicken restaurant franchise is originated not from Texas.
^ Knows that Texas Roadhouse doesn't serve pieces of Patrick Swayze.
HeresMyAccount was once roundhouse-kicked by THE Chuck Wendig.
^ He is unaware that Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee were friendly.

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-a7bzJmzymbg/UtcJETbCpXI/AAAAAAAACAU/2YigqHSoIJU/s1600/Chuck+Norris+and+Bruce+Lee.jpg
Hooyaah reported Chuck Wendig for harassing Ethan Van Skiver and has been waiting for Twitter to respond ever since.
^ is advising everyone who's planning a vacation to stay at Hotel Trivago.
^ Endorses this because he owns Hotel Trivago.
^ He is Captain Obvious.
^internationally renowned as an expert in signature punctuation.
^ %Punctuates -#@ everything ^&!=\ unnecessarily.