A wizard-wannabee, who might know leaf, but never heard of ale. Completely oblivious to the perfect and foolproof insomnia medicine (few sips of extra aged, spiced rum)!

King Bradley 7 found a full-figured fossil of undeniably alien physique and spent 2 weeks secretly grinding every bone to dust just to keep it secret.

^Knows who the man on the grassy knoll was

It was Game-Rager. Not JFK, mind you, but the voice behind that dystopian megaphone thing in Teletubbies. With GR's subliminal programming, they could ravenously devour children on-command.

^ He only knows that because he was the one who played the character of Dipsy.

^ plays one of the characters, who wears very imbalanced costume and has red face. The character's named Tipsy.

^ Is best friends with a monkey named Flipper.

^ is curious about what Elon Musk's space ex looks like.

Hasn't tried fried tarantulas yet. even though that is a local delicacy.

^ considers sedating his neighbor is the same as getting himself local anesthesia.

He was an admiral in the Bolivian Navy.

Hooyah is a barber, and his Gandalf cosplay is actually woven together from the hair of his customers.

^ He has never heard about a conspiracy that he doesn't believe.

He doesn't know that conspiracies exist, so long as "secrecy" does, in certain circles and stratas, concerning individuals or corpuses. Secrecy isn't synonym to privacy and usually, nowhere near being "innocent", a "right", or even a privilege.

^ doesn't keep records of how many times he has tripped over, because he or others steps on his cape or that his armor's heavily imbalanced design or lack of lower body muscle training, for prestige reason.