^ Ate the lasagna raw, because the TV didn't cook it properly.

^ He didn't see me pour honey over the lasagna and freeze it. After it was frozen, I pulled it from the freezer and set it in a pan, placing it on the T.V. for an hour, to thaw a bit. Then, I plopped two scoops of vanilla ice cream on top of the lasagna and ate it like the frozen confection that it was meant to be.

^ You should try it! (He never will.)

^ Will blame me for rescuing the lasagna from frozen oblivion.

^ Convinced Hooyaah that a lasagna is just a different sort of cake.

^ He's convinced that life is a cold lasagna.

^He found that lasagna, to the power of pi, results in hairy ears.

^ His avatar consumed lasagna to the power of π.

^ He never underestimates the power of pie, especially pecan pie.

^ Perpetuates pecans specifically because they're the most evil nut ever made into food items. The way they stick to teeth and the underside of tongues is just gross.

^ Has never eaten pecans that didn't have razor blades hidden within them.

^He mistook pelicans for pecans and was cracked by the pelican.

^ He mistook crack for heroin and was pecanned by a pelican.

^ his lifelong dream is moving to Gaming

^ He's going to Texas!

^ All his exes live in Texas. And Texas is a place, he'd really love to be. But all his exes live in Texas. And that's why he hangs his head in Tennessee.