As a lightheared jest, he snuck downstairs in the wee hours of the morning one Christmas eve and swapped out my stocking for a sock of coal.

^ He always stokes the blaze in the fireplace after adding a large log, or two, nestled under some fresh splintered timber before he toddles off the bed.

EDIT: This situation resulted in the necessity that I don an extra thick thermal suit composed primarily of Nomex.®

^ For some unspecified reason, he supposedly wants no Mexicans to wear the suit.

^ He really just wants to see them all burn and blame it on me.

^ Is gladdened that the incinerator fire is well stoked every time he arrives for the night shift, as the first delivery of humans typically arrives shortly after he does. The thermal suit protects him well from the stench from the British batch.

^ He knows that the American and British are peoples separated by a common language.

^ He differentiates between American ("Traditional") and British ("Simplified") English.

^ Has a tradition of simplifying languages, and prefers to use APL.

^ Has a beautiful painting of Basil the Bulgar-Slayer brutally mutilating the eyeballs of his enemies.

^ Knows that because he broke into my house, and was caught in a trap.

^ Favorite board game is Mouse Trap

^ Knows where is Waldo... And what happend to Carmen Sandiego

^ He knows, "Who Let The Dogs Out."

^ It was Hooyaah who let the dogs out, and he is also Mr. Burns.

^ He meant to post, "'Hoo' let the dogs out!"